Rising Above the Rubble

This past Sunday, I happened upon a class at church that I don't normally attend.  I sat front and center, a spot I wouldn't normally sit in.  And I listened intently to a lesson, which I'm not normally able to do (I'm a self-diagnosed ADD mess).  All this abnormal wasn't planned…by me, anyway.  But I'm convinced that God orchestrated everything exactly so, that I wouldn't miss what He had to say.

The lesson was on Nehemiah, Chapter 4.  Backstory: Nehemiah has been led by God to rebuild the temple that was previously destroyed.  Some jerks (Sanballat, among others) decided they didn't like this plan, and set out to be the town's official naysayers:

Nehemiah 4 GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)

Sanballat Ridicules the Jews

4 [a]When Sanballat heard we were rebuilding the wall, he became enraged and made fun of the Jews. 2 In front of his allies and the army from Samaria, he said, “What do these miserable Jews think they’re doing? Can they rebuild it by themselves? Are they going to offer sacrifices? Can they finish it in a day? Will they get the stones out of the rubbish heaps, burned as these stones are, and give them new strength?”

3 Tobiah the Ammonite, who was beside Sanballat, said, “Even a fox would make their stone wall collapse if it walked on top of what they’re building!”

Nehemiah Overcomes Opposition from Sanballat

4 Nehemiah prayed, “Our God, hear us. We are despised. Turn their insults back on them, and let them be robbed in the land where they are prisoners. 5 Don’t ignore their guilt, and don’t let their sins disappear from your records. They have insulted you in front of these builders.”

6 So we rebuilt the wall, which was rebuilt to about half its original height. The people worked with determination.

7 When Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites, and the people from Ashdod heard that the repair work on the walls of Jerusalem was making progress and that the gaps were being filled in, they became furious. 8 All of them plotted to attack Jerusalem to create confusion. 9 But we prayed to our God and set guards to protect us day and night.

10 Then the people of Judah said, “The work crews are worn out, and there is too much rubble. We can’t continue to rebuild the wall.”

11 Our enemies said, “Before they know what is happening or see a thing, we will be right in the middle of them. We’ll kill them and bring the work to an end.”

12 Jews who were living near our enemies warned us ten times that our enemies would attack us from every direction.[b]

13 That is why I positioned people by their families behind the wall where it was lowest and most exposed. The people were armed with swords, spears, and bows. 14 I looked them over and proceeded to tell the nobles, the leaders, and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of our enemies. Remember how great and awe-inspiring the Lord is. Fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.”

15 When our enemies heard that we knew about their plots and that God had prevented their plans from being successful, we all went back to the work on the wall. Each person performed his own job.16 From that day on, half of my men worked on the wall, and the other half were wearing body armor and holding spears, shields, and bows. The leaders stood behind all the Judeans 17 who were rebuilding the wall. The workers who were carrying loads did the work with one hand and held their weapons with the other, 18 and each builder had his sword fastened to his side. The man who was supposed to sound the trumpet alarm was with me. 19 I told the nobles, the leaders, and the rest of the people, “So much work has to be done in different places that we are widely separated from one another on the wall. 20 When you hear the trumpet, assemble around me. Our God will fight for us!”

²¹ So we continued to work. Half of us held spears from early dawn until the stars came out. ²² At that time I told the people, “Every man and his servant should stay overnight in Jerusalem so that we can set a guard at night and work during the day.” ²³ My brothers, my servants, and the guards assigned to me never changed their clothes. Neither did I. We each kept our weapons at hand.

Nearly one year ago, we set out to accomplish this task that God has set before us: to care for His orphans.  Since, He made His will even more clear by leading us directly to you.  We have collected our groupies and our grumps along the way…those who faithfully walk beside us and keep us encouraged when we're tired and worn out and those who love to remind us of the "rubble" before us.  Daily, I cry out to God to hear us, to prove our naysayers wrong and to reveal Himself in a most incredible way so many will come to know and believe He is God.  I pray for the determination to carry on even though the situation looks more impossible to us by the minute, and He has unquestionably answered, giving us our share of victories worth praising Him for.  But, just as it went for the Jews long ago, it seems that our opposition grows stronger the closer we come to completion (bringing you home).

Rubble schmubble.  We need not be discouraged, girl--"Our God will fight for us!" Like our ancestors, we too will continue to work but with ALL of us clothing ourselves in armor...of prayer for protection and perseverance.  And, as with the temple, He will complete the work He began in us (Phil. 1:6)!  I can't wait to see what God has in store!! All of the twists and turns in this story He's weaving definitely have us all on the edge of our seats!  But, at the very least, we can rest assured it will all end well  :) Hold tight to His promises <3

I think He has a handful of hearts He's bringing Home, and we're praying without ceasing that He will use your story to get them there ;)

With Total Abandon

I. am. exhausted.  Spiritually, emotionally…. I know you are as well.  Two weeks ago, you completely shut me out.  You made a decision that you wouldn't discuss certain topics, but these uncomfortable ones for you happen to be the very topics that lend us opportunity to know you more intimately and to disciple you :(  Since, you've been very obviously angry, actively posting things aimed to hurt and to snub all the breakthroughs we've made up until this point.  The worst comment prefacing them all was, "I'm done pretending that everything is okay."

After the phone call we received yesterday, I was (frankly) about done, too.  All of our paperwork has expired.  It has taken up so much time putting out these small fires to get everything just right, that our agency completely overlooked a raging fire that ultimately destroyed everything.  In order to move forward, we have to start over.  We're devastated.  And, if you've already given up,  where will this news leave you?

I am so thankful we worship a God Who can make beauty from ashes (Is. 61:1-3).

Yesterday, I saw red; today, I see hope.  Jesus feels us, Sweet girl.  From the moment I woke up this morning, He has been showering me with comfort.  Overnight, He dispatched the Church, putting it on hearts to pray, to call and speak encouragement into us, to text us Scripture we can hold fast to, and to email us devotions that all scream the same message: "Persevere!" and "Radically obey!"

Through my own awesome devotional, He perfectly provided a fresh outlook on an age-old account that, paired with the emails, gave me a crystal clear view into His will for this mess:

"Simon answered, 'Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything.  But because you say so, I will let down the nets" (Luke 5:5). …How many times have I found myself in Peter's position and not responded in obedience the way he did?  It saddens my heart to remember the occasions I've ignored Jesus' call for my radical obedience because I was tired, or because I didn't really believe Jesus would work miraculously in a particular situation, or mostly because the Lord's request made no sense in human terms. …We have to remember that Simon Peter didn't know that something as mundane as lowering his net into the water would change his life--but it did!  And that's how it can be for us. …That's what's remarkable about radical obedience.  You don't know where it will lead.  You don't know how God will use it" (Terkeurst, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God Devotional, 69-71).

From one of the emailed devotions (author: Greg Laurie):

When David was called by God to be king, he was out watching sheep, just being faithful.

What was Gideon doing when God called him? He was hiding from his enemies. He was terrified.

And what was Elisha doing when Elijah called him to carry on the work? He was out plowing in the field.

My point is this: They were faithfully doing what God had set before them. They weren't running around, looking for big, important things to accomplish. They didn't have public relations consultants or agents. They were simply doing the little things, waiting on God. Sometimes we have great ideas of what God will do. But we have to wait on Him. What are your dreams right now? Maybe you want to do something for God, but you think it will never happen. Then again . . . maybe it will. Maybe it even will surpass your wildest dreams. Just be faithful to do what God has set before you right now. Your future is safe in His hands.

Lastly, the loudest message from another emailed devotion put on your grandmother's heart to send:

"Because you have kept My command to persevere..." (Rev 3:10)

Perseverance means more than endurance--more than simply holding on until the end. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, "I can't take any more."   Yet God pays no attention; He goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly. Entrust yourself to God's hands. Is there something in your life for which you need perseverance right now? Maintain your intimate relationship with Jesus Christ through the perseverance of faith. Proclaim as Job did, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him" (Job 13:15)

Faith is not some weak and pitiful emotion, but is strong and vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. And even though you cannot see Him right now and cannot understand what He is doing, you know Him. Disaster occurs in your life when you lack the mental composure that comes from establishing yourself on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the supreme effort of your life--throwing yourself with abandon and total confidence upon God.

God ventured His all in Jesus Christ to save us, and now He wants us to venture our all with total abandoned confidence in Him. There are areas in our lives where that faith has not worked in us as yet--places still untouched by the life of God. There were none of those places in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. Jesus prayed, "This is eternal life, that they may know You..."(John 17:3) The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we will take this view, life will become one great romance--a glorious opportunity of seeing wonderful things all the time, God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power. Oswald Chambers

Right now, we're understandably the saints saying, "We can't take anymore."  But He is blatantly calling on us to persevere, to radically obey, to trust Him even when that means His terms make no sense or our faith in the miracles He could perform is faltering.  "He wants us to venture out with total abandoned confidence in Him"!!  We need to settle in and faithfully press on, working out this challenge He's set before us while we wait on Him.  He has a plan…and my gut tells me it will surpass even our wildest dreams.  

In a text sent to me, also this morning, by a sweet friend and prayer partner-in-crime:

"Since we are surrounded by so many examples of faith, we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially sin that distracts us.  We must run the race that lies ahead of us and never give up.  We must focus on Jesus, the source and goal of our faith.  He saw the joy ahead of Him, so He endured death on the cross and ignored the disgrace it brought Him.  Then, He received the highest position in heaven, the one next to the throne of God.  Think about Jesus, who endured opposition…so that you don't become tired and give up" (Hebrews 12:1-3 GWT).  

He's Still Driving

I received an exciting call from a friend last night.  Her and her husband have been facing similar spiritual challenges as us…trusting God's plan even when it seems to be veering far from their own.  He recently took a job in Fort Worth, moving their family from comfort and close knit friends in Montana to a bustling city full of busy people.  Neither he nor she feel settled or connected to their new life. It hasn't helped that he's already been struggling with difficult relationships at work and she with building any lasting friendships at home.  This, in addition to other events, led to his decision to apply for different job…hopefully one that would lead them back to their "quality" life in beautiful Montana (even if it meant sacrificing the "quantity" that led them to Texas).
One door of opportunity after another seemed to discouragingly slam in their faces.  It made no sense.  They haven't felt at peace where they're at, but there's been no direction as to where they're supposed to be going.  I know you're thinking their exciting call was the announcement of an open door…. I thought so too.  It wasn't.  A savvy thought on their mother's part helped them thankfully discover that his job contract would require they reimburse all moving expenses if he were to quit before a 24-month period.  Had any of the jobs he had been applying for gone through as they had initially hoped, they would have lost A LOT of moola!!!  They were certain that God WAS shutting the doors…not to cause them suffering and pain, but to protect them from financial disaster!
Their situation gave them and us fresh perspective.  Lysa Terkeurst says it best in her devotional, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God:

"Sometimes God's power is shown as much in preventing things as it is in making them happen" (p.41).

I can't begin to understand why the process of bringing you home was effortless months ago, then seemed to come to and stay at a screeching halt.  I can't begin to lie and say I'm finding joy in all of this right now. But I CAN rest assured that His Hand is still on this.  He is still at the wheel.  He can see what's around the corner and has chosen to press on the brakes for our protection.

Great Expectations

For years I've battled feeling like a failure.  With every disappointment I've caused somebody, another figurative chink in my armor left me questioning my worth in this world. I can never get it right. 
Not until this long stretch of time waiting for you, have the standards by which I've been measuring myself against been challenged.  A sweet mentor gave me some sound advice (that your grandmother has been trying to impart on me forever): we're only responsible for living up to God's expectations of us...and sometimes this might mean we'll have to suck it up and be okay with disappointing everyone else.  I don't think I'll ever relish the idea of bearing some scarlet letter or holding the reigning title of "Black Sheep" among my peers, but I can definitely say that without a doubt I dread the eternal implications that would come with rejecting the Holy Spirit.

<ENTER ANOTHER LESSON ON EXPECTATIONS>

Over the summer Dad expressed his desire to do something bigger for God.  He's no longer content living his dream, he wants to live God's for our family.  I was and am still overwhelmed with awe at how your Dad has grown--finally he's taken hold of his role as the spiritual head of our home!!  And it couldn't be better timing :) I couldn't wait to learn what eXoTiC mission the Lord would take us on!!  Oh, the possibilities!  Ukraine?? Thailand?? China??

Nope.

Location of leading thus far: middle of nowhere, Arizona.

Message after message via several different means has clearly been challenging my own expectations of God and how He would answer my prayers.  Naturally, it would be within His will to answer this deep desire in my heart to be a famous missionary in a third world country rescuing trafficked women and orphaned babies.  Right?

Wrong.

It's only recently dawned on me how ignorant I am.  Who am I, mere flesh and blood, to be placing any expectations on my Creator?!  His will isn't to be my Santa Claus, granting me every desire on my bucket list.  Yes, He wants all of His children to have the desires of their hearts.  But, first and foremost, He wants us to give Him our WHOLE heart.  Following Jesus doesn't mean saying a magic prayer and waiting to be showered in blessings.  Following Jesus requires a "turn from our selfish ways".  Blessings do come, but not always in the form of fame, fortune, and fascinating travel experiences. 

Not everything is beneficial, even if everything we dream is within His will (1 Co.6:12).

I have admittedly been consumed with expectation after another that He's failed to meet lately, that I've completely overlooked all of those unimaginable ones He has!  He has provided me the opportunity to stay at home with my children, to walk alongside of each of you and disciple you.  He's given me a husband with a renewed heart and a shared dream. And He's giving us you. 

So.  On that note, I can hereby confirm that when "you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it.  But if you give up your life [and what you expected it would look like] for [Jesus'] sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it" (Mark 8:34-35). 

Бог с нами

This morning, I received these three short Russian words from you: Бог с нами!  (translated: God is with us!).

Yes, Sweet Girl, He is!!

There have been no shortage of obstacles these past few months…the process coming to a screeching halt over a transposed notary stamp; your frustrations over the standstill causing upheaval in our home as we worried about the decisions you were making as a result; the conflict in Ukraine, leading to even a civilian plane being shot down; our own parents' fears for our safety fighting to blur God's promises of victory; financial distress as both of our vehicles inexplicably broke down, then our dryer, now our garage door, all among other minor household issues that need to be taken care of….  It has certainly been one wild ride!! But with every twist and turn, our loving Father has been there waiting in the wings to keep us on track.  Answering prayer after prayer, and filling us with Word after Word, we have learned the most important lesson in this pause: our "faith should not be in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God" (1 Co. 2:5).  

He knows what He's doing, even when we haven't a clue. We praise Him for this peace that transcends all human understanding!

     "My child, do not be dismayed by any calamity that befalls you.  Your times are in My hand.  Your way is open before Me, and I have all in My control.  Never doubt My care.  Never question My dealings.  
     You will know that I am leading you by the narrowness of the way.  It is often a difficult and precipitous path; but I would assure you of My hand of protection.  Do not think it strange that I bring you by this route…because in the solitary and the steep and narrow way I will have the opportunity to deal with you and teach you; and you will be blessed and will learn to praise Me with uncontrollable joy." -Roberts, Come Away My Beloved, p.225-226

I'm so glad He's speaking to you, too <3

A Blustery Day

Yesterday marked yet another milestone to which we build an altar of thanks to God, our Jehovah Jireh!!  I realized that in the chaos of compiling everything needed to submit your dossier (dealing with some rather difficult people in the process), we had forgotten to give praise where praise was still due.  God has been in control of the ups and the downs, and we would do better not to forget it!

After confessing where our hearts went wrong, I lifted up every obstacle and prayed for them to be destroyed in a way that continues to bring Him more glory.  It wasn't but a few hours later, when Dad received a call that the medical form was finally notarized and ready to be picked up (Obstacle #1: decimated).  Shortly after that, Dad noticed on one of the forms we've been struggling to have completed, that a realtor could complete what we've been fighting the mortgage company for weeks to do (Obstacle #2: destroyed)!!  And guess what our neighbor does for a living?   Realty.  He was able to get us in and out within the hour (Obstacle #3: completely avoided).  THEN, on our way home from our neighbor's office, Dad received an email from Ni Ni and Yeh Yeh (your paternal grandparents) that they would like to support us by paying for the airplane tickets we're about ready to purchase (Obstacle #4: non-existent)!

It was a CRaZy day of AMAZING highs.  For this reason, this morning's devotional reading wasn't adding up at first:



I wasn't fearing!  Providence was less fickle than ever, and the utter chaos seemed to finally be behind us!!

…then this afternoon happened.  Upon picking up the medical form, that took weeks to have completed, Dad discovered it hadn't been completed properly and would be rejected by the Ukrainian government if it wasn't fixed.  Back to Square One on that obstacle.  So frustrating.  Something so small, which could so majorly set us behind : /

I was almost discouraged, until all that I read this morning came flooding back.  It is incredibly cool how our Lord proved once more that nothing happens that He's not already aware of.  He's gone before us and has got this whole process in His hands; He has a plan in the works that will end in victory for us--if we endure faithfully.

I praise Him for reminding us that our hands our tied--that we need Him.  As the devotion continues:



Our desperate awareness of our complete helplessness will help His grace operate more effectively, and His victorious plans to more quickly come to fruition <3  He's a God worth praising, even when a storm arises:

24And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being covered with the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep. 25And they came to Him and woke Him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing!”26He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. 27The men were amazed, and said, “What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?” -Matthew 8:24-27

I saw this sticker today and smiled thinking of you and how you will hopefully get to say this someday :)  Right now, in this very moment, you've felt frustrated that the door was shut on staying with the Housers, then on going home with the Walles.  And even after you discovered that it was all because we were pursuing you, you've expressed lots of impatience and insecurity because, understandably, it's difficult to grasp the intensity of the process or this love that complete strangers feel for you.  But all the while, our God-of-the-Angel-Armies has been leveling mountains for you!  He's re-directing your steps not to harm you, but to "prosper you, to give you hope and plans for a future" (Jer. 29:11).

It's so humbling to watch--to be given a glimpse of what our Heavenly Father must experience so often with all of His children…frustrated, impatient, insecure when things don't go the way we think they should; meanwhile, He's chuckling to Himself as He knows just how excited we're going to be when we arrive at "better".

USCIS has mailed their response to our adoption request--"better" could be just a few more weeks away!!  Tether yourself to His big picture, Luda…we're coming!!!

We Dedicate This Song...

He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please…
Could you send someone here who will love me?”


Who will love me for me
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means


Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner then he would’ve stayed
And she says…


Who’ll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means


He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said, “I know you’ve murdered
And I know you’ve lied
And I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”


I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you

Not for what I have done or what I will become


-JJ Heller

A Body Divided...

Crazy how quickly we can go from feeling on top of the world to down in the dumps in just days!  Even more crazy…what I was raving about just a few days ago is, ironically, the cause of the downward spiral this time…. 

So many people want to be involved in bringing you home, and every single one of them have great ideas and abilities that our desire is obviously for all to somehow be involved!  Because the same Spirit equips these friends and the same Lord is served, who am I to dictate any detail?  In my opinion, this isn’t my story…it’s His and yours.  And the more people God would use to play a role in it, the merrier! Unfortunately, this is also prime territory for our enemy to wreak divisive havoc.  

I've gradually become more and more consumed with worry over relationships being strained, toes being stepped on, and loved ones feeling unappreciated as we all navigate uniting the myriad of gifts. Regrettably, I haven't been clear about the only expectation that matters and have understandably caused much confusion.  Yes, I’ve been longing to celebrate the victories with others, but how the celebration plays out matters not.  Yes, I find it so absolutely amazing that hearts have been stirred to help us fundraise, but there is no particular way in which I’ve envisioned that it must be done.  Yes, I dream of you having a beautiful room full of special touches and put together with love, but I’m not worried about it being something I designed, or how the special touches are found, or that it all looks perfect.  As you can likely imagine, these loose ends are exactly why I praise Him for those friends He’s called to help.  The people He has chosen in-coincidentally require a method for the madness.  We can finally rest assured that something will be accomplished!!  He's provided us with a specific, seemingly handpicked group of people whom we love, admire, and can trust to lead us safely to "Z"!

I don’t want anyone to miss the forest for the trees.  A mind-blowing testimony is beginning to unfold, and the Lord is welcoming all of us to set the stage!!!  I’m praying that our yielding to His dispersal of work won't be seen as indecisiveness that only frustrates those willing to serve, but rather as a decision in itself. We want to make room for as many others as possible, aside from our family, to leave their footprint…to experience the same overwhelming joy that comes from the outpouring of His Spirit. The parties can flop, the fundraisers may fail, and/or the room might turn out to be a hot mess, but you will know without any shadow of a doubt that you are loved. And, I pray, so will they.  "See how good and pleasant it is when brothers and sisters live together in harmony!" (Psalm 133:1)  We long for peace and unity so all will know we are His disciples because of our love for each other (John 13:35).  Then, even more glory will rightfully be given to God <3

"Hold fast that which you have, and let no one take your crown.  Let no one hinder you in pursuit of the reward.  Let nothing stand in the way of your complete victory.  Let no weariness or discouraging thought cause you to loosen the rope of faith…. Emmanuel!  God with us--God in us--God in me! God in you! Praise His wonderful Name!  For this He made us.  For this He destined us!  For this He predestinated us!  For this He died and rose.  For this He sent that first mighty outpouring…." -p.143-144, Come Away My Beloved, Frances J. Roberts

The Great Dispatching

It's funny: when we started our adoption adventure, we unknowingly dove in with this large set of assumptions that the Lord has since been challenging and managing to debunk one by one.  The first was merely what age and gender was best for our family.  Then, by what means was best (foster-to-adopt, private, etc.).  When little Ike wisely challenged us to leave it up to God and just pray for Him to bring the right orphan to our doorstep, the next was deciding if we truly believed God could really work that way. He miraculously showed us that, yes, He can, in gifting us you! 

Gradually, we are being faced with wall after mounting wall of faith-building lessons and challenges.  This "ride" is certainly not for the faint.  Choosing to follow Jesus, Who seems to be leading us straight to you, has been anything but boring!  But of all that we've learned thus far about exactly Who God is and what He can do, the last few weeks have unquestionably comprised my favorite lesson.  

There is no way to sugarcoat this: adopting…a teenaged girl…internationally…requires a lot of which we have none of!  We have yet to raise a girl…or a teenager; we have never visited your country, much less many other countries aside from our own; we don't speak a lick of Russian; we can't possibly understand your culture or the shock you'll experience coming to ours; we live on a very tight budget with only one income; and, as silly as it sounds compared to everything else, I can't decorate or craft or put an outfit together to save my life…. The list of our weaknesses just goes on and on (sorry, you're stuck).  But that's just it.  God only asked for our obedience.  Since, it's as if He has been dispatching one believer after another to act alongside us on your behalf.  I've been fervently pleading for His Holy Spirit to stir hearts to help bring you home, and every day this month has brought with it a surprise that answers every facet of that prayer!!!  Friends have passionately volunteered to coordinate showers and fundraisers; strangers have been led to donate financially; acquaintances have been placed in the perfect place at the perfect time, sharing with us experiences that have better equipped us for the obstacles you might face.  It's all been nothing short of incredible, as usual!!!  And it all has reminded your Dad and I that we are just two parts of His church Body.  It was never the Lord's intent that we know it all, have it all together, or be equipped to do it all:  

"There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work." -1 Co. 12:4-6


His network is limitless--far beyond our circle of family and friends...far beyond our community even!!  His will is that as many of His children as possible get to ride this "party train", as He came to testify so all would come to know and believe that He is God (John 1:7).  We remain so humbled that He would choose us; that He would go to the very back of the line to trust our family with such "front lines" sort of work!  I pray that many will see us exactly as we are: lackluster and lame. I want there to be no doubt left in anyone's mind that every success we encounter is nothing short of a divine miracle; I pray that all involved, but especially you, will see God and know that He, indeed, is real!!

The Ebb in our Flow

"Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which one to surf." -Jonatan Martensson (as quoted by Joyce Meyer in her book, Living Beyond Your Feelings)

Well.  We got our answer regarding your friend.  Swiftly, I might add.  Shortly after writing you, I really felt it would be a kind gesture to message "I" and encourage her.  After all, you love her and have been concerned for her…maybe she would benefit from learning that our family surrounds her in prayer, too…and you would benefit from knowing that whoever is important to you is equally as important to us.  

I was right and wrong.

"I" was undoubtedly grateful for the extension of care, but you DEFINITELY were not!  I instantly regretted my decision upon reading your messages to me yesterday.  You were deeply hurt and responding venomously.  It seemed everything we had built up to this point was instantly shattered.  Initially, I was flabbergasted.  How could you assume that my writing your friend and simply expressing that we are praying for God to take care of her means that I like her better than you…that we're going to change our minds "on the fly" and choose her instead, and that we would be far better off because she is so much more like me than you?!  

Thank God for the written word.  For once, I praised Him for the oceans between us.  I was able to take a step back in my perspective and see the glimmer of a dynamic we will undoubtedly experience together once you've come home.  These were not the rational words of a healthy child.  These were the words of a hurting child.  A precious little girl who has suffered so much loss and rejection; so much back and forth that she's incapable of trusting all the good that Jesus is pouring out for her.  

Know this, Sweet Daughter: absolutely nothing will separate you from His love (Romans 8:38-39).  Nor ours.  You may feel hard-pressed on every side, but you won't be crushed; you might feel persecuted, but God promises that you will not be abandoned; you likely feel struck down, but He will not allow you to be destroyed (2 Co. 4:8-12).  Yes, you belong to us.  But more importantly, you belong to Him.  And He is not letting go.  We're praying that we all choose His truth over our feelings!!  

Love you!!

Unsolved Mystery

God's riches, wisdom, and knowledge are so deep that it is impossible to explain his decisions or to understand his ways. -Romans 11:33 (GWT)

Strange happenings are stirring about.  Two months ago, I expressed my concern for this precious girl often pictured with you, wondering aloud if she had a family waiting for her.  I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was about her in particular that tugged at my heart, but the tug was specifically tied to this one friend and utterly undeniable.  Dad and I discussed the possibility that maybe our Lord was nudging us to consider bringing her home as well--just how cool would it be for you both to discover that your sisterhood was no longer coming to an end, but instead would be guaranteed for life?!  I mean, wow! ...Our agency did suggest, after all, that we go ahead and request the adoption of two children just in case….  We would take your whole house with us if God was behind it!

We sort of left the idea to simmer, as we've been so consumed with the process regardless.  But just a few weeks ago, you pointedly asked Dad if we, or someone in Texas, would host this special friend of yours.  Having no idea of the conversations we had been having already, your question definitely re-opened the need to more intentionally seek God and His will about all of this.  It is apparent that she is important to you, Sweet girl <3  And that has already heightened our awareness of her.

Proverbs 20:24 (HCSB) clearly tells us that, "A man's steps are directed by the LORD; how then can anyone understand his own way?" Just when we think we have everything figured out, He throws in more surprises to keep us on our toes!  With Him guiding the tour, we're experiencing plenty of adventure--I can't wait to see what's around this bend!!

Love you,
Mom

Mountains and Molehills

The situation in your country has been intense, girl.  We've been reading stories daily about the political tension.  Just recently, the rain officially poured down on our parade when we read that all adoptions in Crimea ceased immediately upon Russia's seizure of the region!  Families that were there to pick up the children they long awaited to bring home were sent back to America without any remorse or hope of reconciliation!  It is simply unimaginable.  How heartbroken we would be, coming this far with you and experiencing God in this way, for it only to end so abruptly.  It really made us think: are we wholly committed to carrying out His will?  Even if it might mean having to praise Him if our ending isn't "and they lived happily ever after?"

Before we even had the chance to wrap our minds around the fear of all the new "what ifs", the Lord showed up like a White Knight in Shining Armor and moved yet another mountain!  We received a call from our agency: the home study was completed, approved, and overnighted to INS.  Because of the turmoil in the Ukraine, all adoption requests are being expedited!  Rather than August, we're now being told to plan for June to travel there and bring you home!!!  Our prayers for the powers-that-be to feel a sense of urgency were answered!  We get to see you months sooner than we had planned, and hopefully get you out of the country safely before they can tell us "no"!

And that's not even the end of the miracles He performed for us this week!  There are so many significant and thoughtful ideas that our creative friends have shared with us that I long to make happen for you.  The ideas were originally to help us raise money, but more importantly, they would give you a visual of just how many people truly love you and care about your future!!  One of the ideas was to create a prayer quilt--a quilt made up of pieces that people have handwritten prayers on, or crafted, or embroidered, etc.  This was quite possibly the coolest idea, but I was concerned that it just wasn't feasible to execute before you came.  I spoke with a girlfriend about it Friday morning, trying to devise a plan of action, but still felt my expectations were too unrealistic.  Friday afternoon, I hear my cell  ringing while I was in the shower.
     *Three things you must know about me first to grasp how truly miraculous this event was: 1) I never  
     answer my phone; 2) The ringer is almost always left on silent; hence, I never hear it ringing to
     answer it; and 3) Stopping my shower to answer the cell phone? …see 1 & 2.
Like that feeling you get when the phone rings in the middle of the night, I have this sudden concern wash over me (no pun intended) and feel the urge to at least see who's calling.  I jump out of the shower, clumsily dry myself off, then hop to look at the phone.  The number was unfamiliar.
     *One more thing you need to know: 4) I never answer the phone when I don't know the number.
I answer it.  "Heidi?" "Yes?" "This is Katie from Glen Meadows, I'm not sure if you know me…" "Yes, of course, Katie! How are you?" "I'm great! I heard you're adopting a girl here pretty soon, and am part of the quilter's club at the church.  We were talking about you all and were wondering if we could bless her with a quilt?"

No joke.

Isn't this incredible?!  I was instantly convinced that our God isn't just a God of Mountains…but of Molehills, too.  And they are just as important to Him as they are to us!  Once again, it has been confirmed to us that He adores you and yearns for that to be confirmed to you!!! We are so excited to see what else He's got up His Sleeve….  In the meantime, I look forward to reading all of the prayers our family and friends write over you <3

1 Thess. 3:9 (NIV)

Our "300"

As par for the course, we've had yet another victory!!  Last week, we successfully completed an intense day of home study interviews!!  The moments leading up to that day were probably more intense than the day itself, however.  Knowing that a complete stranger is planning to spend several hours in your home, taking notes on her impressions (the good, the bad, and the ugly) was a LOT nerve-racking to say the least.  Fortunately, the Lord had already forged our path ahead and had us placed our hearts and minds exactly where they needed to be when they needed to be there :)

For the past two weeks, I've been participating in a bible study on Gideon: finding God's strength in our weakness.  The message before the home study was all about how the Lord insisted that Gideon send the majority of his already mere military force home before handing him victory over the consuming Midianites.  From 32,000 soldiers to 300, God successfully led Gideon to win the war!  The odds were more than stacked against His children…450 Midianites for every 1 Israelite.

The odds are stacked against us.

Currently, we have a deficit of funds to pay all the costs associated with bringing you home.  We have no experience raising a teenager, or a girl, or a girl that has lost so much.  We have language barriers to overcome.  We're up against political waves that are increasingly seeming insurmountable.  And, just like Gideon, our day of battle is just around the corner: May 21st; your sixteenth birthday…when the INS closes your window to America.

Our situation is overwhelming.  I've personally been fighting all of these doubts that are unintentionally planted by various people who mean well, but who are hellbent on the stark "reality" before us (and are assumably concerned that we must be in denial).  Frankly, I've been a grump all day.  That is, until this set of Scripture cards lying on the coffee table caught my eye.  I just happened to use the back of one of them to write a note on your full name this afternoon (when I was scrambling for a nearby anything to write on because I was too lazy to walk four feet to the desk).  After unsuccessfully (or so I thought) praying for peace, I felt oddly compelled to pick up the cards, once I noticed them, and read the verses (typed in the exact order I read them…that in itself is amazing):

"Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me." -Is. 46:9

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you." -Is. 54:10

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." -Is. 26:3

"…and provide for those who grieve in Zion to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor." -Is. 61:3

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach Good News to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners…" -Is. 61:1

"Since ancient times no one has heard, no one has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, Who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him." -Is. 64:4

"They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations." -Is. 61:4

"…to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn." -Is. 61:2

"'You are my witnesses, ' declares the Lord, 'and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe Me and understand that I am He.  Before Me no god was formed, nor will there be one after Me.'"-Is. 43:10

"No weapon forged against you will prevail." -Is. 54:17


Our "300" was/is/will be enough, and the glory of every victory plainly His <3

His Kingdom's Economy

This week marked yet another milestone in our adventure to bring you home!  We hosted our first fundraising event--a multi-family garage and bake sale.  And, honestly, I started the week so. stressed. out.  Day by day, Jesus ironed out the kinks in my thinking and in my heart.  By the morning before the sale, He left me on this note:

"Bring me all the tithes, and I will open the gates of heaven and pour down upon you a fourfold blessing.  Yes, I will bless you in the grace of giving, and I will bless you with joy.  You shall open the door of ministry for My servants, and you shall partake of the fruits that will come as a result.  

You will never give to Me and be the poorer for it.  In exchange for your small gifts, you shall be given My boundless riches.  Through the contribution that comes from a willing heart, I will be freed to bestow the abundance of heaven, treasures you could never purchase from the world.  …

Indeed, you shall see the miraculous ways I will care for your needs, and even in the process of doing this I will further the Kingdom; for others who give to you will also receive spiritual blessings.  

Yes, My child, My economy is wonderful!  My Kingdom truly is not the kingdom of this world. …You have given to Me that which I can multiply in spiritual blessings to you and to others. …Your poverty shall be turned to wealth, and you will be freed from your anxieties concerning financial matters." -Frances J. Roberts, Come Away My Beloved, p.74

I had no idea just how capable He is.  Lyuda, we raised over half of what we need for the upcoming home study fees.  In addition to this amazing financial blessing, our friends and I witnessed Him opening the door of this ministry for orphans to several others.  And, oh the miraculous ways He provided for EVERY need!!!  For additional items to sell, for support in organizing everything, for encouragement from others who have been down this road, AND for funds.  It was so cool.  I only wish you could have been there to meet all of the people God led to provide--perhaps one day you will get to witness Him in action again…in effort to rescue another from your house in the Ukraine!!!  If there's anything we've learned thus far, it's definitely "don't underestimate Who God is or What our BIG God can do" with faith truly the size of a mustard seed!!  We're getting closer!!!

The whole community saw this beautiful smile for the first time :)