Our "300"

As par for the course, we've had yet another victory!!  Last week, we successfully completed an intense day of home study interviews!!  The moments leading up to that day were probably more intense than the day itself, however.  Knowing that a complete stranger is planning to spend several hours in your home, taking notes on her impressions (the good, the bad, and the ugly) was a LOT nerve-racking to say the least.  Fortunately, the Lord had already forged our path ahead and had us placed our hearts and minds exactly where they needed to be when they needed to be there :)

For the past two weeks, I've been participating in a bible study on Gideon: finding God's strength in our weakness.  The message before the home study was all about how the Lord insisted that Gideon send the majority of his already mere military force home before handing him victory over the consuming Midianites.  From 32,000 soldiers to 300, God successfully led Gideon to win the war!  The odds were more than stacked against His children…450 Midianites for every 1 Israelite.

The odds are stacked against us.

Currently, we have a deficit of funds to pay all the costs associated with bringing you home.  We have no experience raising a teenager, or a girl, or a girl that has lost so much.  We have language barriers to overcome.  We're up against political waves that are increasingly seeming insurmountable.  And, just like Gideon, our day of battle is just around the corner: May 21st; your sixteenth birthday…when the INS closes your window to America.

Our situation is overwhelming.  I've personally been fighting all of these doubts that are unintentionally planted by various people who mean well, but who are hellbent on the stark "reality" before us (and are assumably concerned that we must be in denial).  Frankly, I've been a grump all day.  That is, until this set of Scripture cards lying on the coffee table caught my eye.  I just happened to use the back of one of them to write a note on your full name this afternoon (when I was scrambling for a nearby anything to write on because I was too lazy to walk four feet to the desk).  After unsuccessfully (or so I thought) praying for peace, I felt oddly compelled to pick up the cards, once I noticed them, and read the verses (typed in the exact order I read them…that in itself is amazing):

"Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me." -Is. 46:9

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you." -Is. 54:10

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." -Is. 26:3

"…and provide for those who grieve in Zion to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor." -Is. 61:3

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach Good News to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners…" -Is. 61:1

"Since ancient times no one has heard, no one has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, Who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him." -Is. 64:4

"They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations." -Is. 61:4

"…to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn." -Is. 61:2

"'You are my witnesses, ' declares the Lord, 'and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe Me and understand that I am He.  Before Me no god was formed, nor will there be one after Me.'"-Is. 43:10

"No weapon forged against you will prevail." -Is. 54:17


Our "300" was/is/will be enough, and the glory of every victory plainly His <3

His Kingdom's Economy

This week marked yet another milestone in our adventure to bring you home!  We hosted our first fundraising event--a multi-family garage and bake sale.  And, honestly, I started the week so. stressed. out.  Day by day, Jesus ironed out the kinks in my thinking and in my heart.  By the morning before the sale, He left me on this note:

"Bring me all the tithes, and I will open the gates of heaven and pour down upon you a fourfold blessing.  Yes, I will bless you in the grace of giving, and I will bless you with joy.  You shall open the door of ministry for My servants, and you shall partake of the fruits that will come as a result.  

You will never give to Me and be the poorer for it.  In exchange for your small gifts, you shall be given My boundless riches.  Through the contribution that comes from a willing heart, I will be freed to bestow the abundance of heaven, treasures you could never purchase from the world.  …

Indeed, you shall see the miraculous ways I will care for your needs, and even in the process of doing this I will further the Kingdom; for others who give to you will also receive spiritual blessings.  

Yes, My child, My economy is wonderful!  My Kingdom truly is not the kingdom of this world. …You have given to Me that which I can multiply in spiritual blessings to you and to others. …Your poverty shall be turned to wealth, and you will be freed from your anxieties concerning financial matters." -Frances J. Roberts, Come Away My Beloved, p.74

I had no idea just how capable He is.  Lyuda, we raised over half of what we need for the upcoming home study fees.  In addition to this amazing financial blessing, our friends and I witnessed Him opening the door of this ministry for orphans to several others.  And, oh the miraculous ways He provided for EVERY need!!!  For additional items to sell, for support in organizing everything, for encouragement from others who have been down this road, AND for funds.  It was so cool.  I only wish you could have been there to meet all of the people God led to provide--perhaps one day you will get to witness Him in action again…in effort to rescue another from your house in the Ukraine!!!  If there's anything we've learned thus far, it's definitely "don't underestimate Who God is or What our BIG God can do" with faith truly the size of a mustard seed!!  We're getting closer!!!

The whole community saw this beautiful smile for the first time :)

Love you, too

We experienced the most incredible moment yesterday.  For the first time, we were blessed with the opportunity to talk to you face-to-face over Skype!!  You are so beautiful, glowing with poise and kindness!!  God knew we all needed that moment, and I praise Him for it.  His glory shines even through these details--the tangled web He continues to weave and work through to take care of His orphans is truly amazing.  But what is most amazing to me, is how no amount of language barriers or poor internet connections got in the way of our communicating His "universal" language yesterday.  I was so worried that we hadn't said enough; that we had failed to express our desire for you to be ours so you could rest if even for a day knowing you were loved and that you will always have a family with us.  Then today, I received this message from you:

Люблю Вас

We love you, too, Lyuda <3 And we continue to feel so blessed to be a part of whatever He has planned for you, Sweet Daughter.  

He Will Bring The Victory

Panic.  That's what I'm feeling right now, honestly.  We reached this mountaintop high when finding out that you were officially available, only to plummet immediately into a valley of doubt and anxiety.  Dad just got word that our next step is the international home study that's going to cost us a large sum of money that we just don't have :( And, of course, the fee comes at a time when so many other things are due...and after we've committed to living within our means and avoiding debt.  Not to mention, I stink the biggest stink that ever stunk at organizing anything...so fundraising?!  It's been so overwhelming just scanning through all of the options and thinking about them!!!  Every single one of them sounds great in theory, until they require me asking people for money....  I'm completely ill-equipped. What is God thinking???

It's all certainly enough to get a family distracted.  I just love how the Holy Spirit continues to intervene, however, keeping our minds set on things above and not on the pressures and limitations of this world!! Check out this devotional He put in front of me today in response to these groans of my spirit--it was too cool:

"Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." -1 Co. 15:57

"O My child, have I ever failed you?  Have I ever turned My back on you or forsaken you?  Have I not been your refuge and your strong defense?  I have protected you and kept you in sickness and in health.  Yes, I am with you to help you now.  Fear not.  My purposes will be fulfilled in spite of your weaknesses, if in your need you rely on My strength.  My will shall be done regardless of the flaws in your life, if you count on the power of My righteousness.  I do not work only in cases where there are no obstacles; but I glory in overruling the prevailing circumstances, and I take pleasure in bringing victories to those places where no victory is anywhere in sight.  

Count on My coming.  Know that whenever faith brings Me on the scene, everything is changed.  Darkness is turned to light.  Grief is turned to joy.  Sickness to health.  Poverty to My sufficient supply.  Doubt to faith.  Anxiety to trust.

No negative force can occupy the same place as My Spirit.  When My Spirit comes in, all these things must go.  Yes, they shall go!

Ask for victory.  I will come and bring it.  Don't look for the victory--look for Me, and you will see the victory that I will bring with Me.  After I have come, you shall behold the miracles I will do." -Frances J. Roberts, Come Away My Beloved, p.56-57.

Bring us victory, Jesus!!!  I surrender my weaknesses to You and plead for Your strength.  We count on Your coming to rescue this sweet girl that longs for a home as much as our home longs for her. Sufficiently supply for our needs, that we might be used to turn some of her grief into joy.  Take my doubting and anxious thoughts captive and transform them into an unshakeable faith and trust in You.  I can't wait to behold the miracles You will do!!!!

His Hands

I thought I had experienced hopelessness…until I experienced hopelessness.  Months have gone by and we have gotten no further in the process of bringing you home.  Admittedly, up until last week I had been trying to consume myself with the here and now, too proud and too fearful to bring the reality of the situation before more of our church family :(  What if we'd been wrong in discerning God's will? What if this whole thing fell through?  Like the emotions that come with losing a pregnancy, we would be crushed trying to accept that we had lost you…that we had confused our heart's desire with His leading...much less having to face the disappointment on everyone else's faces when they asked about you.

Thankfully, an amazing friend pointed out that my actions were actually failing to believe in and trust God, and ultimately failing you.  I had been so wrong to keep the details close!  We finally poured our hearts out on a prayer card last Sunday, expressing honestly (and with more detail) our frustration with the system that seems almost to exploit your situation with greedy intent.  We asked our friends to pray alongside us, that the Lord trample the obstacles before us so we can finally bring you home.  A few days later, we sent off the new set of paperwork...once again requesting your availability and stating our intentions to adopt you.  My reservations revealed my lingering unbelief despite the Sunday attempt to act otherwise, but I have to mention that your dad's faith has been so surprisingly unwavering through all of this--he has refused to admit any defeat.  It's incredible.  His tenacity alone should have been a reminder to me that Jesus is pursuing you even more fiercely.  I've been so blind.  

Thursday we received another message from Kim.  A sweet family that's currently in the Ukraine, picking up the son they have adopted, met and fell in love with you and sought to adopt you as well!!  You are so loved, Luda! I can't wait to experience this commanding presence of yours in person!!  Unfortunately, they were unable to take you home as they had wished, but had discovered that you are now, in fact, available for adoption!!!  Finally!!  God truly trampled this obstacle, and He blessed us with, yet again, making it known at the perfect time.  Not only to renew my hope when I was just about out, but to bring hope to all of those who are praying with us.  He has shown me that no matter the state of our hands (tied or loosed), only His Hands matter…and you're in His <3  

He's taking care of you, precious daughter, even while and even if we can't.  It's bittersweet for me, that this family couldn't have rescued you…as I'd find comfort just knowing that you were happy and safe…. But I can't help but keep believing that God had to allow that opportunity to pass because you really do belong with us <3

The sweet family who swooped in and saved the day

A Drink in the Desert

We haven't heard from you in weeks, nor you from us.  Sadly, we're partly to blame as we've been so consumed with our lives here, with the people here, and our responsibilities here :(  In this "desert", part of me tries to question if this is really what God wants for all of us; or if it's just something we want so badly, that we're blinded from reality and seeing only what we want to the way we want to.  

I admittedly worry if it's the wisest choice for everyone involved, and if we can be what you deserve for us to be...especially during those days when I feel I'm failing the children I already have.  And when those concerns aren't consuming me, both Dad and I fear we'll be unable to get to you before it's too late, before the INS closes the door that once seemed wide open....

BUT then, I remember the miracles in every step thus far.  And that God isn't a vending machine or Santa Claus, existing to satisfy my needs or meet my goals!!  His Ultimate Goal is that all of His children would come to worship Him--everything else flows from that and toward it.  We want you to be ours, Luda, and we hope you want the same.  But He's been teaching me that regardless of our will, His will still be done.  And thank goodness, because His is always so much better than anything we could imagine or hope for (Ephesians 3:20)!!  

Whatever the final outcome of this process, you are already loved and will continue to be...and we all can trust that He'll reveal that to you in the way that will speak deepest to your heart.  

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You" (Isaiah 26:3). 

Thank You, Jesus <3

His Perfect Timing

Yay!! We got your papers back from the State Secretary's office yesterday, and "coincidentally", Angel's Haven just happens to be sending a package of inquiries to your orphanage...slated to be mailed this Friday!!!!  Yours will be in it!  As we keep discovering, and you'll soon come to know, the perfect timing of everything has been no coincidence at all.  He's making crooked paths straight in hot pursuit of you whom He adores :o)
   
"I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name" (Is. 45:2-3).

<3,
Mom