Бог с нами

This morning, I received these three short Russian words from you: Бог с нами!  (translated: God is with us!).

Yes, Sweet Girl, He is!!

There have been no shortage of obstacles these past few months…the process coming to a screeching halt over a transposed notary stamp; your frustrations over the standstill causing upheaval in our home as we worried about the decisions you were making as a result; the conflict in Ukraine, leading to even a civilian plane being shot down; our own parents' fears for our safety fighting to blur God's promises of victory; financial distress as both of our vehicles inexplicably broke down, then our dryer, now our garage door, all among other minor household issues that need to be taken care of….  It has certainly been one wild ride!! But with every twist and turn, our loving Father has been there waiting in the wings to keep us on track.  Answering prayer after prayer, and filling us with Word after Word, we have learned the most important lesson in this pause: our "faith should not be in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God" (1 Co. 2:5).  

He knows what He's doing, even when we haven't a clue. We praise Him for this peace that transcends all human understanding!

     "My child, do not be dismayed by any calamity that befalls you.  Your times are in My hand.  Your way is open before Me, and I have all in My control.  Never doubt My care.  Never question My dealings.  
     You will know that I am leading you by the narrowness of the way.  It is often a difficult and precipitous path; but I would assure you of My hand of protection.  Do not think it strange that I bring you by this route…because in the solitary and the steep and narrow way I will have the opportunity to deal with you and teach you; and you will be blessed and will learn to praise Me with uncontrollable joy." -Roberts, Come Away My Beloved, p.225-226

I'm so glad He's speaking to you, too <3

A Blustery Day

Yesterday marked yet another milestone to which we build an altar of thanks to God, our Jehovah Jireh!!  I realized that in the chaos of compiling everything needed to submit your dossier (dealing with some rather difficult people in the process), we had forgotten to give praise where praise was still due.  God has been in control of the ups and the downs, and we would do better not to forget it!

After confessing where our hearts went wrong, I lifted up every obstacle and prayed for them to be destroyed in a way that continues to bring Him more glory.  It wasn't but a few hours later, when Dad received a call that the medical form was finally notarized and ready to be picked up (Obstacle #1: decimated).  Shortly after that, Dad noticed on one of the forms we've been struggling to have completed, that a realtor could complete what we've been fighting the mortgage company for weeks to do (Obstacle #2: destroyed)!!  And guess what our neighbor does for a living?   Realty.  He was able to get us in and out within the hour (Obstacle #3: completely avoided).  THEN, on our way home from our neighbor's office, Dad received an email from Ni Ni and Yeh Yeh (your paternal grandparents) that they would like to support us by paying for the airplane tickets we're about ready to purchase (Obstacle #4: non-existent)!

It was a CRaZy day of AMAZING highs.  For this reason, this morning's devotional reading wasn't adding up at first:



I wasn't fearing!  Providence was less fickle than ever, and the utter chaos seemed to finally be behind us!!

…then this afternoon happened.  Upon picking up the medical form, that took weeks to have completed, Dad discovered it hadn't been completed properly and would be rejected by the Ukrainian government if it wasn't fixed.  Back to Square One on that obstacle.  So frustrating.  Something so small, which could so majorly set us behind : /

I was almost discouraged, until all that I read this morning came flooding back.  It is incredibly cool how our Lord proved once more that nothing happens that He's not already aware of.  He's gone before us and has got this whole process in His hands; He has a plan in the works that will end in victory for us--if we endure faithfully.

I praise Him for reminding us that our hands our tied--that we need Him.  As the devotion continues:



Our desperate awareness of our complete helplessness will help His grace operate more effectively, and His victorious plans to more quickly come to fruition <3  He's a God worth praising, even when a storm arises:

24And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being covered with the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep. 25And they came to Him and woke Him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing!”26He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. 27The men were amazed, and said, “What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?” -Matthew 8:24-27

I saw this sticker today and smiled thinking of you and how you will hopefully get to say this someday :)  Right now, in this very moment, you've felt frustrated that the door was shut on staying with the Housers, then on going home with the Walles.  And even after you discovered that it was all because we were pursuing you, you've expressed lots of impatience and insecurity because, understandably, it's difficult to grasp the intensity of the process or this love that complete strangers feel for you.  But all the while, our God-of-the-Angel-Armies has been leveling mountains for you!  He's re-directing your steps not to harm you, but to "prosper you, to give you hope and plans for a future" (Jer. 29:11).

It's so humbling to watch--to be given a glimpse of what our Heavenly Father must experience so often with all of His children…frustrated, impatient, insecure when things don't go the way we think they should; meanwhile, He's chuckling to Himself as He knows just how excited we're going to be when we arrive at "better".

USCIS has mailed their response to our adoption request--"better" could be just a few more weeks away!!  Tether yourself to His big picture, Luda…we're coming!!!

We Dedicate This Song...

He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please…
Could you send someone here who will love me?”


Who will love me for me
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means


Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner then he would’ve stayed
And she says…


Who’ll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means


He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said, “I know you’ve murdered
And I know you’ve lied
And I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”


I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you

Not for what I have done or what I will become


-JJ Heller

A Body Divided...

Crazy how quickly we can go from feeling on top of the world to down in the dumps in just days!  Even more crazy…what I was raving about just a few days ago is, ironically, the cause of the downward spiral this time…. 

So many people want to be involved in bringing you home, and every single one of them have great ideas and abilities that our desire is obviously for all to somehow be involved!  Because the same Spirit equips these friends and the same Lord is served, who am I to dictate any detail?  In my opinion, this isn’t my story…it’s His and yours.  And the more people God would use to play a role in it, the merrier! Unfortunately, this is also prime territory for our enemy to wreak divisive havoc.  

I've gradually become more and more consumed with worry over relationships being strained, toes being stepped on, and loved ones feeling unappreciated as we all navigate uniting the myriad of gifts. Regrettably, I haven't been clear about the only expectation that matters and have understandably caused much confusion.  Yes, I’ve been longing to celebrate the victories with others, but how the celebration plays out matters not.  Yes, I find it so absolutely amazing that hearts have been stirred to help us fundraise, but there is no particular way in which I’ve envisioned that it must be done.  Yes, I dream of you having a beautiful room full of special touches and put together with love, but I’m not worried about it being something I designed, or how the special touches are found, or that it all looks perfect.  As you can likely imagine, these loose ends are exactly why I praise Him for those friends He’s called to help.  The people He has chosen in-coincidentally require a method for the madness.  We can finally rest assured that something will be accomplished!!  He's provided us with a specific, seemingly handpicked group of people whom we love, admire, and can trust to lead us safely to "Z"!

I don’t want anyone to miss the forest for the trees.  A mind-blowing testimony is beginning to unfold, and the Lord is welcoming all of us to set the stage!!!  I’m praying that our yielding to His dispersal of work won't be seen as indecisiveness that only frustrates those willing to serve, but rather as a decision in itself. We want to make room for as many others as possible, aside from our family, to leave their footprint…to experience the same overwhelming joy that comes from the outpouring of His Spirit. The parties can flop, the fundraisers may fail, and/or the room might turn out to be a hot mess, but you will know without any shadow of a doubt that you are loved. And, I pray, so will they.  "See how good and pleasant it is when brothers and sisters live together in harmony!" (Psalm 133:1)  We long for peace and unity so all will know we are His disciples because of our love for each other (John 13:35).  Then, even more glory will rightfully be given to God <3

"Hold fast that which you have, and let no one take your crown.  Let no one hinder you in pursuit of the reward.  Let nothing stand in the way of your complete victory.  Let no weariness or discouraging thought cause you to loosen the rope of faith…. Emmanuel!  God with us--God in us--God in me! God in you! Praise His wonderful Name!  For this He made us.  For this He destined us!  For this He predestinated us!  For this He died and rose.  For this He sent that first mighty outpouring…." -p.143-144, Come Away My Beloved, Frances J. Roberts

The Great Dispatching

It's funny: when we started our adoption adventure, we unknowingly dove in with this large set of assumptions that the Lord has since been challenging and managing to debunk one by one.  The first was merely what age and gender was best for our family.  Then, by what means was best (foster-to-adopt, private, etc.).  When little Ike wisely challenged us to leave it up to God and just pray for Him to bring the right orphan to our doorstep, the next was deciding if we truly believed God could really work that way. He miraculously showed us that, yes, He can, in gifting us you! 

Gradually, we are being faced with wall after mounting wall of faith-building lessons and challenges.  This "ride" is certainly not for the faint.  Choosing to follow Jesus, Who seems to be leading us straight to you, has been anything but boring!  But of all that we've learned thus far about exactly Who God is and what He can do, the last few weeks have unquestionably comprised my favorite lesson.  

There is no way to sugarcoat this: adopting…a teenaged girl…internationally…requires a lot of which we have none of!  We have yet to raise a girl…or a teenager; we have never visited your country, much less many other countries aside from our own; we don't speak a lick of Russian; we can't possibly understand your culture or the shock you'll experience coming to ours; we live on a very tight budget with only one income; and, as silly as it sounds compared to everything else, I can't decorate or craft or put an outfit together to save my life…. The list of our weaknesses just goes on and on (sorry, you're stuck).  But that's just it.  God only asked for our obedience.  Since, it's as if He has been dispatching one believer after another to act alongside us on your behalf.  I've been fervently pleading for His Holy Spirit to stir hearts to help bring you home, and every day this month has brought with it a surprise that answers every facet of that prayer!!!  Friends have passionately volunteered to coordinate showers and fundraisers; strangers have been led to donate financially; acquaintances have been placed in the perfect place at the perfect time, sharing with us experiences that have better equipped us for the obstacles you might face.  It's all been nothing short of incredible, as usual!!!  And it all has reminded your Dad and I that we are just two parts of His church Body.  It was never the Lord's intent that we know it all, have it all together, or be equipped to do it all:  

"There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work." -1 Co. 12:4-6


His network is limitless--far beyond our circle of family and friends...far beyond our community even!!  His will is that as many of His children as possible get to ride this "party train", as He came to testify so all would come to know and believe that He is God (John 1:7).  We remain so humbled that He would choose us; that He would go to the very back of the line to trust our family with such "front lines" sort of work!  I pray that many will see us exactly as we are: lackluster and lame. I want there to be no doubt left in anyone's mind that every success we encounter is nothing short of a divine miracle; I pray that all involved, but especially you, will see God and know that He, indeed, is real!!

The Ebb in our Flow

"Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which one to surf." -Jonatan Martensson (as quoted by Joyce Meyer in her book, Living Beyond Your Feelings)

Well.  We got our answer regarding your friend.  Swiftly, I might add.  Shortly after writing you, I really felt it would be a kind gesture to message "I" and encourage her.  After all, you love her and have been concerned for her…maybe she would benefit from learning that our family surrounds her in prayer, too…and you would benefit from knowing that whoever is important to you is equally as important to us.  

I was right and wrong.

"I" was undoubtedly grateful for the extension of care, but you DEFINITELY were not!  I instantly regretted my decision upon reading your messages to me yesterday.  You were deeply hurt and responding venomously.  It seemed everything we had built up to this point was instantly shattered.  Initially, I was flabbergasted.  How could you assume that my writing your friend and simply expressing that we are praying for God to take care of her means that I like her better than you…that we're going to change our minds "on the fly" and choose her instead, and that we would be far better off because she is so much more like me than you?!  

Thank God for the written word.  For once, I praised Him for the oceans between us.  I was able to take a step back in my perspective and see the glimmer of a dynamic we will undoubtedly experience together once you've come home.  These were not the rational words of a healthy child.  These were the words of a hurting child.  A precious little girl who has suffered so much loss and rejection; so much back and forth that she's incapable of trusting all the good that Jesus is pouring out for her.  

Know this, Sweet Daughter: absolutely nothing will separate you from His love (Romans 8:38-39).  Nor ours.  You may feel hard-pressed on every side, but you won't be crushed; you might feel persecuted, but God promises that you will not be abandoned; you likely feel struck down, but He will not allow you to be destroyed (2 Co. 4:8-12).  Yes, you belong to us.  But more importantly, you belong to Him.  And He is not letting go.  We're praying that we all choose His truth over our feelings!!  

Love you!!