Where do I even begin? Where do I even begin to begin? This is going to be long... 17 years ago, marriage wasn't even something I would have considered. But then I connected with the girl who would be instrumental in making me who I am today. 12 years ago, I would never have considered having children. But then two boys arrived on the scene that would (eventually) forever change my outlook on life. Three years ago, adopting would never have been something I would have considered. Sure, I appeased your mom and entertained her crazy notions of fostering. But fostering wasn't permanent, right? Eventually the kids would go back to their parents or wherever it was they came from. AND, the state would pay us for it! As for the little coincidental hints that I saw around from time to time about fostering and adopting, they were just that: coincidences. But then, in the midst of interviews and online certification, something strange happened: I began to feel like I should care for the fatherless. What had your mom's prayers done?! What were these feelings that were beginning to stir within my heart? "Fine," I said, "I'll pray (for real this time) about it." And boy, did I. I prayed that God would change her heart, and take away this bizarre desire to raise someone else's troubled kids. I prayed that she would be content with our family the way it was. But I guess she had the direct line, because instead of all that happening, my heart began to change. I started to really feel for the children who never had a dad to throw a ball back and forth or sit and and ponder childish things with; those boys who don't have solid, fatherly advice to listen to (or rebel from, as I did); those girls who don't have the example in their lives of how a man should treat them. Against all of the instincts and feelings (read: walls) I had perviously built, I agreed to take another's child into our home and be an influence that would hopefully stick with them for the rest of their lives. But I still had reservations: your mom wanted a baby, and I really didn't want to change diapers again. This time, I had the direct line: we got the call about adopting an older child from Ukraine. Ukraine - where did that come from? By this time I had learned better than to pray against your mom, so I simply prayed that His will would be made clear, and that I would be able to accept whatever He had in store for us. Then we read your bio online, and the statistics of what happens to children your age once they leave the orphanages. Your mom and I knew instantly that this was what God had called us to do. Sending money once a month to some organization that provides things wasn't going to cut it. He was preparing my heart to receive a daughter!
I felt so confident that I had heard from God, and the amazing thing was that I was 100% on board. I didn't have the reservations that I would have had just months prior. Your age didn't bother me. Your language didn't bother me. Your gender didn't bother me. I knew without a doubt that my daughter was in Ukraine, just waiting for us. And I had to do everything I could, as fast as I could, to bring you home. And so began the year-long paperwork process. I am convinced the Enemy had plans to divert us from this path; to throw obstacle after obstacle in our way and have us give up in frustration. After all, how would the military even permit me to travel to a former Soviet-bloc nation for over a month? How would we raise the thirty-thousand dollars to cover the expense? How would this be at all possible? But we put one foot in front of the other in faith, and our Lord never stopped speaking to us, right when we needed to hear it. When paperwork was delayed, He said "persevere" (He literally said it, though both your mom's and my quiet times the next morning). When Russia annexed Crimea and portions of eastern Ukraine, He moved the hearts of men so that my command had no objections to my traveling. When we said we have no more funds, He said, "I will provide." And when we were told to wait, He moved things in just the right order and at just the right time, to grow us both closer to Him and closer to each other. Then we got the call that our appointment with the Ukrainian State Department of Adoption and Children's Rights (SDA) was made, and the REAL miracles became apparent.
The week before we left for Ukraine was the most stressful week I've ever lived through. It tops the birth of Josh by a long shot. At least with that, I felt like I had a measure of control, however small it was. After all, it was me driving to the emergency room with our expertly-packed overnight bag. And, I even paid attention to those breathing exercises- what was that called, again? That week also tops the C-section that bore Isaac. Scheduled weeks in advance so that the doc wouldn't miss any important golf dates no doubt, that was something that was absolutely under control (!). But to receive an email on a holiday Monday saying nonchalantly that we had our SDA appointment nine days later? I am sure I ran around the house in circles for at least three hours that day. And yet during those nine days, God's hand was so apparent in every single facet. The church, along with numerous generous donations, ensured we had funding to pay for the rest of the process. My command approved an absurd amount of leave days for me to travel to a country in crisis. Down to every last gift for the orphanage employees, to every prayer warrior that is bringing us before God, He is moving His heavenly chess pieces to complete a move that is far beyond human comprehension. I am overwhelmed with emotion as I think of all the hurdles that have been not only jumped over, but completely thrown aside. And after a year of repeated paperwork and frustration, of waiting and dreaming, of internet-only communication and google (mis)translate, here we are!
Seeing you in person yesterday was amazing. There you were, the daughter God hand-picked for us. The girl that undoubtedly has known so much loss and emptiness is now about to be ours to care for and teach. The older and younger sister to our boys that will be able to teach and learn and laugh (and fight) with them. God has deemed us worthy to entrust you to our care. Is He sure about this?? Will I be able to demonstrate how a gentleman should treat you? Will I be able to instill in you everything you've missed in the time that you weren't with us? Will I be able to protect you from the world? The answer to all these questions is "NO!" I can't do that all for you any more than I can teach your brothers to be gentlemen, or instill in them anything sound! Not by myself, anyway. But I trust that God is faithful to carry out the plans He set in motion. I trust that He will guide me in the terrifying truth that I have a teenaged daughter. He has shown Himself to me in so many ways the last few months, and I am grateful. I am awed at how my heart has changed from even one year ago. I am on my way to truly becoming His servant, and it isn't bondage. It is freedom! I am so excited to see what He has in store for us, and that "us" includes you! I look forward to every moment we all share together: Mom and I, brothers and sister, Mom and daughter, and especially father and daughter. Welcome to the family, Lucy Elizabeth. I love you!
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Friday, January 30, 2015
Love and Promises at First Sight
Today was a taste of the classic "hurry up and wait" rhythm that the Musick's warned us about (among so many other things ;p). It began the way I imagined our first day meeting you would, with not a wink of sleep due to all of the racing thoughts and excitement in the air. But when our scheduled 6:30am pickup time rolled around, it was like a monsoon of events swept us from our apartment steps in Kiev and plopped us in the heart of Dnipropetrovsk. There was no time to adjust, to take in any differences between the two cities, or to imagine all of the places you'd been. We continued our mad dash in a taxi (driven no less haphazardly than a monsoon) to pick up a key to our apartment from a man waiting on a street corner (legit? Sure), then to our apartment to drop off luggage with no time to waste (or waste, if you catch my drift). Due to the crisis in Ukraine, we were told that it was best that we get moving on our paperwork as soon as possible--they take this phrase very literally. Praise God for our bladders of steel.
Finally (or so we thought at the time), it was on to your orphanage!! We were so disoriented, yet so overcome with excitement at finally seeing you in only minutes!! Just pulling up to the front gate of your house made both Dad's and my eyes well up with tears. The emotions were overwhelming. It really was as if we were having a baby all over again and the doctor just came in to tell us it was time. Unfortunately, there was a little bit of a let down when we entered the house to discover you still had an hour or so left at school. But still. Seeing everything we've seen in the backdrop of your pictures...walking where you'd been walking all of this time that we've waited for each other...it was all so surreal. I'm pretty sure it was one of the first, if not only times the entire Rose family was found speechless. Brothers included.
The officials soon arrived to go over your documents, so we went ahead and sat down at the table with them, nodding our heads like we had any clue what was being said, feigning patience. I heard Tatyana gasp and saw her looking behind me. When I turned my head, there you were!!! Not just a still picture, but you! Looking at me from around the corner. I know it sounds cliche, but it really felt like time stopped for a moment...then suddenly fast-forwarded bringing us crashing into each other's arms for the best first hug with my new daughter-to-be ever.
As if that alone didn't bring me to tears, you didn't let go...even when I started to pull away slightly, you just held on tighter.
Yes. It was at that moment I realized God answered yet ANOTHER prayer that we had been continuosly petitioning Him for from the very beginning: that He would prepare your heart to receive us warmly <3 My favorite answer thus far.
It killed us that we had to whisk away again, saying goodbye only one hour later. But we are SO overjoyed that God slowed the whole day down for that one small moment; to let us bask in all His glory and the wonder that He made in you. We have no doubt that our family was purposed for you before you were even formed in your mother's womb (Jer. 29:11).
This whole journey is behind the reason why, when asked to come up with your new American name, Dad decided that your middle name would be Elizabeth, meaning "God's promise". God promised you He takes care of orphans; He promised us that He would take care of you. You, now Lucy Elizabeth Rose, are a living breathing testimony that the God of yesterday is the same God today. His promises are still valid. His Words always true.
Finally (or so we thought at the time), it was on to your orphanage!! We were so disoriented, yet so overcome with excitement at finally seeing you in only minutes!! Just pulling up to the front gate of your house made both Dad's and my eyes well up with tears. The emotions were overwhelming. It really was as if we were having a baby all over again and the doctor just came in to tell us it was time. Unfortunately, there was a little bit of a let down when we entered the house to discover you still had an hour or so left at school. But still. Seeing everything we've seen in the backdrop of your pictures...walking where you'd been walking all of this time that we've waited for each other...it was all so surreal. I'm pretty sure it was one of the first, if not only times the entire Rose family was found speechless. Brothers included.
The officials soon arrived to go over your documents, so we went ahead and sat down at the table with them, nodding our heads like we had any clue what was being said, feigning patience. I heard Tatyana gasp and saw her looking behind me. When I turned my head, there you were!!! Not just a still picture, but you! Looking at me from around the corner. I know it sounds cliche, but it really felt like time stopped for a moment...then suddenly fast-forwarded bringing us crashing into each other's arms for the best first hug with my new daughter-to-be ever.
As if that alone didn't bring me to tears, you didn't let go...even when I started to pull away slightly, you just held on tighter.
Yes. It was at that moment I realized God answered yet ANOTHER prayer that we had been continuosly petitioning Him for from the very beginning: that He would prepare your heart to receive us warmly <3 My favorite answer thus far.
It killed us that we had to whisk away again, saying goodbye only one hour later. But we are SO overjoyed that God slowed the whole day down for that one small moment; to let us bask in all His glory and the wonder that He made in you. We have no doubt that our family was purposed for you before you were even formed in your mother's womb (Jer. 29:11).
This whole journey is behind the reason why, when asked to come up with your new American name, Dad decided that your middle name would be Elizabeth, meaning "God's promise". God promised you He takes care of orphans; He promised us that He would take care of you. You, now Lucy Elizabeth Rose, are a living breathing testimony that the God of yesterday is the same God today. His promises are still valid. His Words always true.
<3 We love you, Lucy Lu <3
Thursday, January 29, 2015
The Work of His Hands
Thank You, Lord, for answering Isaac's prayer to bring an orphan to our doorstep,
for leading Jenny to call and ask us to pray for them as they considered adopting a teen from Ukraine,
for guiding the Houser family to our email address and sharing Luda with us,
for the garage sales and the T-shirts and the hearts that were stirred on our behalf that funded our beginning and inspired our faith in what You could do,
Thank You for Your perfect timing,
for the hiccups that kept us from traveling before we were meant to,
for providing us the opportunity to visit with family we haven't seen in awhile,
for lending us extra time to arrive at this more prepared place in our hearts for what is about to come,
Thank You for our prayer warriors,
for answering their petitions to carry us through the lengthy period of waiting
and through the rushed week of gearing up to go,
for those families who have already been and who took time out of their busy schedules to advise and prepare us so we're able to go "better",
Thank You for providing the perfect school for Luda,
for leading us to a group of educators and peers who see this adoption from Your Perspective as well,
who are willing to go the extra mile just so our daughter will feel instantly welcomed and loved,
and, most importantly, who will guide her alongside of us to come to know You more deeply
Thank You, Father God, for working in my parents' hearts,
for giving them a desire to be more intimately involved,
for arranging their visit when You did, before we even knew our date, so we would have them to pray with us and see us off,
for allowing them to see Your Hand in all of this that we've been witnessing all along,
Thank You for the church,
for the body of people who came together on our behalf to provide all that remained at the EXACT time we needed it,
for fortifying our faith through all of their faithfulness and words of encouragement,
for their support and prayers covering us even now,
and for using even the hearts of believing strangers to speak life into us.
Thank You for showing us Your Sovereignty over the hearts of all men,
whether they reciprocate Your love or not, You've proven that You can still use them while orchestrating Your will,
to support and facilitate the work You're doing with us,
Thank You, Jesus, for all of the miracles,
for Tony's clearance to travel to a country in crisis...a clearance that generally requires at least 30 days to process yet extraordinarily took only 4,
for the gathering of everything we needed in such a small amount of time,
for safely flying out of America despite record-breaking winter storms on our tail,
for safe accommodations while residing in a war-ridden part of the world,
Thank You for this amazing experience,
for allowing us all to live outside of our comfort zone these next few weeks, that we may have a greater understanding of how Luda will initially feel when in America,
for this opportunity to show our boys a world outside of their norm
and for their uncanny ability to acclimate to it all so quickly,
Thank You for carrying us through our first appointment,
for the completeness of Luda's records and for her astounding good health,
for her intake picture from just four years ago that revealed such a pain and loss in her eyes,
as we are even more confident in the healing You're Presence in her life has so obviously accomplished already,
Thank You for Luda,
for her wide-open heart that seems more-than-ready and excited to receive us,
for her story that You'll undoubtedly use for Your glory, to draw more hearts to You,
and for choosing our family and so many others to play a part in it!!!
Most importantly, thank You for You!
for loving us and using us despite the messes we are,
for traversing oceans to give us a daughter and our daughter a family,
and for the hearts that will hopefully be touched to rescue more orphans and to be rescued by You.
<3
for leading Jenny to call and ask us to pray for them as they considered adopting a teen from Ukraine,
for guiding the Houser family to our email address and sharing Luda with us,
for the garage sales and the T-shirts and the hearts that were stirred on our behalf that funded our beginning and inspired our faith in what You could do,
Thank You for Your perfect timing,
for the hiccups that kept us from traveling before we were meant to,
for providing us the opportunity to visit with family we haven't seen in awhile,
for lending us extra time to arrive at this more prepared place in our hearts for what is about to come,
Thank You for our prayer warriors,
for answering their petitions to carry us through the lengthy period of waiting
and through the rushed week of gearing up to go,
for those families who have already been and who took time out of their busy schedules to advise and prepare us so we're able to go "better",
Thank You for providing the perfect school for Luda,
for leading us to a group of educators and peers who see this adoption from Your Perspective as well,
who are willing to go the extra mile just so our daughter will feel instantly welcomed and loved,
and, most importantly, who will guide her alongside of us to come to know You more deeply
Thank You, Father God, for working in my parents' hearts,
for giving them a desire to be more intimately involved,
for arranging their visit when You did, before we even knew our date, so we would have them to pray with us and see us off,
for allowing them to see Your Hand in all of this that we've been witnessing all along,
Thank You for the church,
for the body of people who came together on our behalf to provide all that remained at the EXACT time we needed it,
for fortifying our faith through all of their faithfulness and words of encouragement,
for their support and prayers covering us even now,
and for using even the hearts of believing strangers to speak life into us.
Thank You for showing us Your Sovereignty over the hearts of all men,
whether they reciprocate Your love or not, You've proven that You can still use them while orchestrating Your will,
to support and facilitate the work You're doing with us,
Thank You, Jesus, for all of the miracles,
for Tony's clearance to travel to a country in crisis...a clearance that generally requires at least 30 days to process yet extraordinarily took only 4,
for the gathering of everything we needed in such a small amount of time,
for safely flying out of America despite record-breaking winter storms on our tail,
for safe accommodations while residing in a war-ridden part of the world,
Thank You for this amazing experience,
for allowing us all to live outside of our comfort zone these next few weeks, that we may have a greater understanding of how Luda will initially feel when in America,
for this opportunity to show our boys a world outside of their norm
and for their uncanny ability to acclimate to it all so quickly,
Thank You for carrying us through our first appointment,
for the completeness of Luda's records and for her astounding good health,
for her intake picture from just four years ago that revealed such a pain and loss in her eyes,
as we are even more confident in the healing You're Presence in her life has so obviously accomplished already,
Thank You for Luda,
for her wide-open heart that seems more-than-ready and excited to receive us,
for her story that You'll undoubtedly use for Your glory, to draw more hearts to You,
and for choosing our family and so many others to play a part in it!!!
Most importantly, thank You for You!
for loving us and using us despite the messes we are,
for traversing oceans to give us a daughter and our daughter a family,
and for the hearts that will hopefully be touched to rescue more orphans and to be rescued by You.
<3
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Son Showers
"The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace." -Numbers 6:24-26 (NKJV)
These few words, spoken over me this week by a complete stranger in a Target parking lot, perfectly sum up this past week. Upon receiving the news that we finally had a court date through now, we have been immeasurably blessed and kept by Him. We were still short half of the funds necessary to travel. We didn't yet have full approval from the military to travel abroad. Record-breaking winter storms were on the heels of our travel dates. We didn't even have the warm clothing needed to survive your Ukrainian winter! By Friday, we had more than we could ask for or imagine. On Sunday, God of the Angel Armies staved off the less-than-favorable winter conditions until just hours after we flew safely out of New York. Hence, today, I write from Kiev, Ukraine :) ...With a full belly, warm clothes, and my feet securely on the ground ;) All with perfect timing to make our very first court appearance tomorrow morning! God is, indeed, faithful; His love unfailing. It really is one thing to know this and a totally different thing to experience it.
As we drove the five hours East to the Dallas airport, it was as if the Holy Spirit wanted to be sure we soaked up His "Shine"--through Misty Edward's album, Relentless, He sang what felt like a soundtrack written specifically for our journey...His graciousness nearly tangible. All four of us were showered in the Lord's joyful countenance as we reflected back on every miracle that happened in just these past few days and on all of the people God placed along the way each day (and for every step) to encourage us and to cover us in prayer. He has answered every single request, Luda, leaving no stone unturned. It is truly magnificent to witness. Our faith has been strengthened. "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." -Phil. 1:6
The Lord is fervently pursuing you, precious girl; He loves you and is undoubtedly good to you. This continues to prove true again and again. But this time, we've come to recognize His chase for our own hearts as well. We count ourselves so humbled and blessed to be even the smallest part in His big plan for you. I pray we all grow deeper in Him through this unforgettable adventure <3
I can't wait to hug you!!! FINALLY!!
I love you already,
Mom
Misty Edwards-Relentless Album Lyrics
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
0 to Ukraine in 345,600 Seconds
Wowzer. Your Grammy always reminds me that our God is never early, never late, but always EXACTLY on time. Today's news gave this a whole new meaning for us. We FINALLY received our travel date!!! We are bringing you home, Luda...in just FOUR more days!?!?!
You can imagine how totally insane we were this morning (more so than we are on any normal given day...this is a troubling thought when you come to really know us).
Throughout the day, however, all of the pieces that have fallen so perfectly into place, so worthy of His praise, have risen to the surface despite our panic. Just last week we didn't have any peace with how to handle your schooling or which group of friends to connect you with. We were being attacked on all sides personally and within our marriage. We didn't have a clue what to expect when you came home, where we were going to stay when in Ukraine, or what on earth we truly needed to pack. We didn't even have enough warm clothes or suitcases to travel, period!
Today, we have all of that and more :)
Ignited by one phone conversation with one of your favorite families, the Walle's, an explosion of answered prayers practically knocked us off our feet. That connection from one int'l adoptive mom to another last Sunday bolstered my confidence in the comprehensive support He has surrounded us with. The interview we had with the very first school we looked into for you confirmed this even further, as the teachers were amazing and supportive and reflected what we know His heart is for you. Not to mention, the thoughtful friend who wrote you, Jasmine, will be there...AND she and your other new friends-to-be have already been making special preparations for your arrival, as well as special gifts for us to bring to give to your old friends upon your departure!!
My thoughtful Sista-from-Anutha-Mista heard our need for a quick marital refresher and gave her evening off to keep your brothers overnight, allowing Dad and I to step back, take a deep breath, and prepare mentally and emotionally for the adventure to come. And this is where the perfect timing became so obvious.... Literally minutes before the boys returned, and after we felt all conversations were had, the call about your court date came! It was as if God used our time and prayer together to wrap up some last minute details and seal the deal, to let us know we were officially ready.
And the miracles just keep coming together...
Thanks to a few well-traveled peeps, we were able to compile a legitimate list of things we needed to pack before all of this and just in time for us to use in the midst of our whirlwind of shopping and borrowing today. Because of so many selfless friends (one who dropped everything to be my brain this afternoon), we even managed to gather everything on that list in just three hours, three stores, and Facebook (props to the power of social media)!
I can't lie. There are so many things we are still tempted to worry and wonder about. But the reality is clear: God's really got this. We surrender all <3
Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, "This is the way you should go," whether to the right or to the left. -Is. 30:21 (NLT)
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. -Ro. 8:28 (NLT)
I can't wait to hug you--finally!!
Love,
Mom
You can imagine how totally insane we were this morning (more so than we are on any normal given day...this is a troubling thought when you come to really know us).
Throughout the day, however, all of the pieces that have fallen so perfectly into place, so worthy of His praise, have risen to the surface despite our panic. Just last week we didn't have any peace with how to handle your schooling or which group of friends to connect you with. We were being attacked on all sides personally and within our marriage. We didn't have a clue what to expect when you came home, where we were going to stay when in Ukraine, or what on earth we truly needed to pack. We didn't even have enough warm clothes or suitcases to travel, period!
Today, we have all of that and more :)
Ignited by one phone conversation with one of your favorite families, the Walle's, an explosion of answered prayers practically knocked us off our feet. That connection from one int'l adoptive mom to another last Sunday bolstered my confidence in the comprehensive support He has surrounded us with. The interview we had with the very first school we looked into for you confirmed this even further, as the teachers were amazing and supportive and reflected what we know His heart is for you. Not to mention, the thoughtful friend who wrote you, Jasmine, will be there...AND she and your other new friends-to-be have already been making special preparations for your arrival, as well as special gifts for us to bring to give to your old friends upon your departure!!
My thoughtful Sista-from-Anutha-Mista heard our need for a quick marital refresher and gave her evening off to keep your brothers overnight, allowing Dad and I to step back, take a deep breath, and prepare mentally and emotionally for the adventure to come. And this is where the perfect timing became so obvious.... Literally minutes before the boys returned, and after we felt all conversations were had, the call about your court date came! It was as if God used our time and prayer together to wrap up some last minute details and seal the deal, to let us know we were officially ready.
And the miracles just keep coming together...
Thanks to a few well-traveled peeps, we were able to compile a legitimate list of things we needed to pack before all of this and just in time for us to use in the midst of our whirlwind of shopping and borrowing today. Because of so many selfless friends (one who dropped everything to be my brain this afternoon), we even managed to gather everything on that list in just three hours, three stores, and Facebook (props to the power of social media)!
I can't lie. There are so many things we are still tempted to worry and wonder about. But the reality is clear: God's really got this. We surrender all <3
Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, "This is the way you should go," whether to the right or to the left. -Is. 30:21 (NLT)
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. -Ro. 8:28 (NLT)
I can't wait to hug you--finally!!
Love,
Mom
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Rising Above the Rubble
This past Sunday, I happened upon a class at church that I don't normally attend. I sat front and center, a spot I wouldn't normally sit in. And I listened intently to a lesson, which I'm not normally able to do (I'm a self-diagnosed ADD mess). All this abnormal wasn't planned…by me, anyway. But I'm convinced that God orchestrated everything exactly so, that I wouldn't miss what He had to say.
The lesson was on Nehemiah, Chapter 4. Backstory: Nehemiah has been led by God to rebuild the temple that was previously destroyed. Some jerks (Sanballat, among others) decided they didn't like this plan, and set out to be the town's official naysayers:
Nearly one year ago, we set out to accomplish this task that God has set before us: to care for His orphans. Since, He made His will even more clear by leading us directly to you. We have collected our groupies and our grumps along the way…those who faithfully walk beside us and keep us encouraged when we're tired and worn out and those who love to remind us of the "rubble" before us. Daily, I cry out to God to hear us, to prove our naysayers wrong and to reveal Himself in a most incredible way so many will come to know and believe He is God. I pray for the determination to carry on even though the situation looks more impossible to us by the minute, and He has unquestionably answered, giving us our share of victories worth praising Him for. But, just as it went for the Jews long ago, it seems that our opposition grows stronger the closer we come to completion (bringing you home).
Rubble schmubble. We need not be discouraged, girl--"Our God will fight for us!" Like our ancestors, we too will continue to work but with ALL of us clothing ourselves in armor...of prayer for protection and perseverance. And, as with the temple, He will complete the work He began in us (Phil. 1:6)! I can't wait to see what God has in store!! All of the twists and turns in this story He's weaving definitely have us all on the edge of our seats! But, at the very least, we can rest assured it will all end well :) Hold tight to His promises <3
I think He has a handful of hearts He's bringing Home, and we're praying without ceasing that He will use your story to get them there ;)
The lesson was on Nehemiah, Chapter 4. Backstory: Nehemiah has been led by God to rebuild the temple that was previously destroyed. Some jerks (Sanballat, among others) decided they didn't like this plan, and set out to be the town's official naysayers:
Nehemiah 4 GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)
Sanballat Ridicules the Jews
4 [a]When Sanballat heard we were rebuilding the wall, he became enraged and made fun of the Jews. 2 In front of his allies and the army from Samaria, he said, “What do these miserable Jews think they’re doing? Can they rebuild it by themselves? Are they going to offer sacrifices? Can they finish it in a day? Will they get the stones out of the rubbish heaps, burned as these stones are, and give them new strength?”
3 Tobiah the Ammonite, who was beside Sanballat, said, “Even a fox would make their stone wall collapse if it walked on top of what they’re building!”
Nehemiah Overcomes Opposition from Sanballat
4 Nehemiah prayed, “Our God, hear us. We are despised. Turn their insults back on them, and let them be robbed in the land where they are prisoners. 5 Don’t ignore their guilt, and don’t let their sins disappear from your records. They have insulted you in front of these builders.”
6 So we rebuilt the wall, which was rebuilt to about half its original height. The people worked with determination.
7 When Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites, and the people from Ashdod heard that the repair work on the walls of Jerusalem was making progress and that the gaps were being filled in, they became furious. 8 All of them plotted to attack Jerusalem to create confusion. 9 But we prayed to our God and set guards to protect us day and night.
10 Then the people of Judah said, “The work crews are worn out, and there is too much rubble. We can’t continue to rebuild the wall.”
11 Our enemies said, “Before they know what is happening or see a thing, we will be right in the middle of them. We’ll kill them and bring the work to an end.”
12 Jews who were living near our enemies warned us ten times that our enemies would attack us from every direction.[b]
13 That is why I positioned people by their families behind the wall where it was lowest and most exposed. The people were armed with swords, spears, and bows. 14 I looked them over and proceeded to tell the nobles, the leaders, and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of our enemies. Remember how great and awe-inspiring the Lord is. Fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.”
15 When our enemies heard that we knew about their plots and that God had prevented their plans from being successful, we all went back to the work on the wall. Each person performed his own job.16 From that day on, half of my men worked on the wall, and the other half were wearing body armor and holding spears, shields, and bows. The leaders stood behind all the Judeans 17 who were rebuilding the wall. The workers who were carrying loads did the work with one hand and held their weapons with the other, 18 and each builder had his sword fastened to his side. The man who was supposed to sound the trumpet alarm was with me. 19 I told the nobles, the leaders, and the rest of the people, “So much work has to be done in different places that we are widely separated from one another on the wall. 20 When you hear the trumpet, assemble around me. Our God will fight for us!”
21 So we continued to work. Half of us held spears from early dawn until the stars came out. 22 At that time I told the people, “Every man and his servant should stay overnight in Jerusalem so that we can set a guard at night and work during the day.” 23 My brothers, my servants, and the guards assigned to me never changed their clothes. Neither did I. We each kept our weapons at hand.
Nearly one year ago, we set out to accomplish this task that God has set before us: to care for His orphans. Since, He made His will even more clear by leading us directly to you. We have collected our groupies and our grumps along the way…those who faithfully walk beside us and keep us encouraged when we're tired and worn out and those who love to remind us of the "rubble" before us. Daily, I cry out to God to hear us, to prove our naysayers wrong and to reveal Himself in a most incredible way so many will come to know and believe He is God. I pray for the determination to carry on even though the situation looks more impossible to us by the minute, and He has unquestionably answered, giving us our share of victories worth praising Him for. But, just as it went for the Jews long ago, it seems that our opposition grows stronger the closer we come to completion (bringing you home).
Rubble schmubble. We need not be discouraged, girl--"Our God will fight for us!" Like our ancestors, we too will continue to work but with ALL of us clothing ourselves in armor...of prayer for protection and perseverance. And, as with the temple, He will complete the work He began in us (Phil. 1:6)! I can't wait to see what God has in store!! All of the twists and turns in this story He's weaving definitely have us all on the edge of our seats! But, at the very least, we can rest assured it will all end well :) Hold tight to His promises <3
I think He has a handful of hearts He's bringing Home, and we're praying without ceasing that He will use your story to get them there ;)
Thursday, October 30, 2014
With Total Abandon
I. am. exhausted. Spiritually, emotionally…. I know you are as well. Two weeks ago, you completely shut me out. You made a decision that you wouldn't discuss certain topics, but these uncomfortable ones for you happen to be the very topics that lend us opportunity to know you more intimately and to disciple you :( Since, you've been very obviously angry, actively posting things aimed to hurt and to snub all the breakthroughs we've made up until this point. The worst comment prefacing them all was, "I'm done pretending that everything is okay."
After the phone call we received yesterday, I was (frankly) about done, too. All of our paperwork has expired. It has taken up so much time putting out these small fires to get everything just right, that our agency completely overlooked a raging fire that ultimately destroyed everything. In order to move forward, we have to start over. We're devastated. And, if you've already given up, where will this news leave you?
I am so thankful we worship a God Who can make beauty from ashes (Is. 61:1-3).
Yesterday, I saw red; today, I see hope. Jesus feels us, Sweet girl. From the moment I woke up this morning, He has been showering me with comfort. Overnight, He dispatched the Church, putting it on hearts to pray, to call and speak encouragement into us, to text us Scripture we can hold fast to, and to email us devotions that all scream the same message: "Persevere!" and "Radically obey!"
Through my own awesome devotional, He perfectly provided a fresh outlook on an age-old account that, paired with the emails, gave me a crystal clear view into His will for this mess:
"Simon answered, 'Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets" (Luke 5:5). …How many times have I found myself in Peter's position and not responded in obedience the way he did? It saddens my heart to remember the occasions I've ignored Jesus' call for my radical obedience because I was tired, or because I didn't really believe Jesus would work miraculously in a particular situation, or mostly because the Lord's request made no sense in human terms. …We have to remember that Simon Peter didn't know that something as mundane as lowering his net into the water would change his life--but it did! And that's how it can be for us. …That's what's remarkable about radical obedience. You don't know where it will lead. You don't know how God will use it" (Terkeurst, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God Devotional, 69-71).
From one of the emailed devotions (author: Greg Laurie):
Lastly, the loudest message from another emailed devotion put on your grandmother's heart to send:
After the phone call we received yesterday, I was (frankly) about done, too. All of our paperwork has expired. It has taken up so much time putting out these small fires to get everything just right, that our agency completely overlooked a raging fire that ultimately destroyed everything. In order to move forward, we have to start over. We're devastated. And, if you've already given up, where will this news leave you?
I am so thankful we worship a God Who can make beauty from ashes (Is. 61:1-3).
Yesterday, I saw red; today, I see hope. Jesus feels us, Sweet girl. From the moment I woke up this morning, He has been showering me with comfort. Overnight, He dispatched the Church, putting it on hearts to pray, to call and speak encouragement into us, to text us Scripture we can hold fast to, and to email us devotions that all scream the same message: "Persevere!" and "Radically obey!"
Through my own awesome devotional, He perfectly provided a fresh outlook on an age-old account that, paired with the emails, gave me a crystal clear view into His will for this mess:
"Simon answered, 'Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets" (Luke 5:5). …How many times have I found myself in Peter's position and not responded in obedience the way he did? It saddens my heart to remember the occasions I've ignored Jesus' call for my radical obedience because I was tired, or because I didn't really believe Jesus would work miraculously in a particular situation, or mostly because the Lord's request made no sense in human terms. …We have to remember that Simon Peter didn't know that something as mundane as lowering his net into the water would change his life--but it did! And that's how it can be for us. …That's what's remarkable about radical obedience. You don't know where it will lead. You don't know how God will use it" (Terkeurst, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God Devotional, 69-71).
From one of the emailed devotions (author: Greg Laurie):
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Lastly, the loudest message from another emailed devotion put on your grandmother's heart to send:
"Because you have kept My command to persevere..." (Rev 3:10)
Perseverance means more than endurance--more than simply holding on until the end. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, "I can't take any more." Yet God pays no attention; He goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly. Entrust yourself to God's hands. Is there something in your life for which you need perseverance right now? Maintain your intimate relationship with Jesus Christ through the perseverance of faith. Proclaim as Job did, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him" (Job 13:15)
Faith is not some weak and pitiful emotion, but is strong and vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. And even though you cannot see Him right now and cannot understand what He is doing, you know Him. Disaster occurs in your life when you lack the mental composure that comes from establishing yourself on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the supreme effort of your life--throwing yourself with abandon and total confidence upon God.
God ventured His all in Jesus Christ to save us, and now He wants us to venture our all with total abandoned confidence in Him. There are areas in our lives where that faith has not worked in us as yet--places still untouched by the life of God. There were none of those places in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. Jesus prayed, "This is eternal life, that they may know You..."(John 17:3) The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we will take this view, life will become one great romance--a glorious opportunity of seeing wonderful things all the time, God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power. Oswald Chambers
Right now, we're understandably the saints saying, "We can't take anymore." But He is blatantly calling on us to persevere, to radically obey, to trust Him even when that means His terms make no sense or our faith in the miracles He could perform is faltering. "He wants us to venture out with total abandoned confidence in Him"!! We need to settle in and faithfully press on, working out this challenge He's set before us while we wait on Him. He has a plan…and my gut tells me it will surpass even our wildest dreams.
In a text sent to me, also this morning, by a sweet friend and prayer partner-in-crime:
"Since we are surrounded by so many examples of faith, we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially sin that distracts us. We must run the race that lies ahead of us and never give up. We must focus on Jesus, the source and goal of our faith. He saw the joy ahead of Him, so He endured death on the cross and ignored the disgrace it brought Him. Then, He received the highest position in heaven, the one next to the throne of God. Think about Jesus, who endured opposition…so that you don't become tired and give up" (Hebrews 12:1-3 GWT).
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