"Ephesians 4:2 provides the model for us. It says, ‘Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.’ Bearing in love means patience in the face of provocation. Teenagers will say wild things. They will give weak excuses and offer illogical arguments. They will make extreme statements (‘No one has ever…,’ ‘You and Mom always, always…,’ ‘This happens to me every time…’). They will accuse you of not understanding. They will compare you to the parents of their friends. They will do all of this because teenagers don’t tend to hunger for wisdom. They don’t tend to think that they need help. They tend to see your loving intervention and instruction as unwelcome interference. It is your job to win them for the way of the Lord. You are called to be an instrument of wisdom in your teenager’s life. To do so, you must be gentle, humble, patient, and persevering (Tripp, Age of Opportunity, pp.138-139).”
You have already said wild things, given weak excuses, and offered baffling arguments. You have even accused us of not understanding, and I'm sure it is hard not to compare us to the authority figures you've had in your life up until now. Regardless of your wounds and naivety that are so glaringly obvious to us, you move forward adamantly opposed to the idea that you need any help. It has been quite a shock to our systems, we won't lie. But, again, this shows us that your attitude towards us is really no different than it would have been had we raised you your whole life. It doesn't reflect rejection, as I have been so quick to assume, or an inability to form attachment...just hormones and an under-developed frontal cortex like every other teenager! And, once again, the Holy Spirit has reminded us that we are to persevere...to be an instrument in your life--an unwelcome one, certainly, but one much needed nevertheless.
“See the
difficult, troublesome, problem situations as God-given opportunities to
develop a biblical mind in your teenager. …’Don’t you see that God’s work of rescuing your [daughter] from
this temptation has already begun? Thank
Him for His awesome love, and be a part of what He is doing. Don’t go in with guns blazing. Tell your [daughter] how much [she] is loved by God and
that today that love is being demonstrated in the way God ordained that the
[sin] would be found. Then help
[her] to understand the thoughts and motives of [her] heart that led [her] into this
sin” (Tripp, Age of Opportunity, pp.137-138).
His work to win your heart has already begun!! He could have allowed these other sides of you to remain hidden, but He hasn't. He knows you are not in a place to reveal everything yourself, so He has been doing it for you...guiding us to the truths about you so we know exactly how to pray and how to love you. How could I not see this before? We only long to know all sides of you, Sweet Girl, yet you continue to hide behind these walls you've built around your heart to protect it. You have obviously been hurt so many times before....
We can't possibly understand everything, but we do commit to wait patiently for you. To take these opportunities that He brings to light on your behalf to prove to you that your new family truly is a safe place to be wholly yourself. Whoever that is <3
Love,
Mom
