Lie after lie continues to unravel. I think you forget that we live in a small town. A small town where people know people who know people and who talk about such people's kids to that kid's people. I can't decide yet if this is an advantage or disadvantage, as I'm almost at that point where I don't always want to know everything you're up to. But I trust that, in the end, God is using all of these revelations to our great advantage. After all, everyone's dirt has to rise to the surface before it can be washed away....
I'm admittedly baffled though. You go to school and you come home. There's nothing in between (other than riding the bus). And I'm here to welcome you in the afternoons, so I'm certain that's all. ...I mean, when could you possibly make any trouble? We're always encouraging you to invite friends over or to arrange a group to meet at the movies or the bowling alley, yet you always turn your nose up at these ideas insisting that you're fine at home doing nothing with us (even when it's obvious you're painfully bored and complaining of being so). ...I know the friends are real because I've seen all of the cute selfies you've taken together. They seem like awesome friends, too! And you often claim now that we're an awesome family...so why on God's green earth would you choose to suffer boredom before allowing us to be even slightly involved in that part of your life. ?!
Now, it's clear why.
You have spun a tangled web of stories that I'm sure you can't even keep up with. Stories that benefit only you, even if they cast an ugly light...or a completely false light on your honestly beautiful reality. You say you have a boyfriend, when you don't. That you're sleeping with him, when you're not. You brag about having things we don't actually own. You tell people we're going to amazing places we're not going to. You tell us that you needed over $100 of soccer-related gear to practice for soccer auditions, that you never went to (but you still made up quite the tale about how badly tryouts went, complete with funny things that happened to the other girls playing). It's a cray-cray compulsion!!
Our minds are always spinning wondering what we should do to affect a real change...how do we deal with this...are we wrong for being angry....is it humanly possible not to be angry at this?? Yesterday morning, God was again faithful to douse the flames of our frustration with this behavior through Psalm 5. He is not a God Who takes pleasure in wickedness, Lucy. Evil will never be His guest. We can't do anything but lay our needs at His feet every morning and wait. Although nothing that comes from your mouth right now seems to be truthful and destruction bubbles out of your heart...despite how incredibly flattering you've been to us on the surface...your own schemes will be your downfall, Sweet girl.
...If you don't stop....
John 5 refers to a man that had been sick for 38 years. 38 years (!!) of just lying under a porch near a pool (that brings healing), held back by excuses and blaming others for his persisting condition. It's no wonder Jesus asked the question, "Would you like to get well?" It seems the answer would be obvious for a man that was paralyzed for so long, but this man had seemingly grown content with being a victim. Jesus, in His great mercy, healed the undeserving man anyway...but how did the man repay him? By returning to his old bad habit of blaming others by implicating Jesus when the Pharisees were being ridiculous themselves!! ...Even after Jesus warned him saying, "You're well now. Stop sinning so something worse doesn't happen to you."
Like the paralyzed man, Lucy, you've been broken for many years...a victim of your unfortunate past. You've become accustomed to hiding behind the excuse of it all--your Mom and Dad and Grandma's death that left you orphaned--your foster parents who were awful to you and returned you--your brothers and sister because they moved on in life without you. You even believe your own contrived thoughts, however misled you might be, blaming your American host parents for not choosing you--Ilona for ruining your reputation--us for not making you feel like part of a family.... You're doing your best to act otherwise, but we see through it all. You have unquestionably faced more than you should have, Precious One. And of course you would be deeply hurt and affected by all of it! But, would you like to get well? Or are you content in your condition?? Because the truth is, that Jesus, in His great mercy towards you, already made you well when you chose Him, Daughter! God is no longer disgusted with you, as you have been made perfect and blameless in His sight <3 You are beautiful in ours, too. It's solely your decisions that continue on as if nothing has changed when everything has that's so hard for us to swallow.
Man. How God must feel watching all of us do the very same...<convicted>
Like Jesus exemplified, we will continue to do our best to warn you...to encourage you to turn back whenever we can...to pray that you'll jump into the "pool" instead of toeing the water...but the choice is still 100% yours. Will you continue to act as though you're still "paralyzed"? Or will you check your pride at the door, start taking responsibility for your actions, and truly surrender all to Him? There is no one that's going to answer for you before Him in the end but you, Lucy. In the meantime, Dad and I will take refuge in Jesus and go ahead of His answers with praise, as we pray for more of those moments when you triumph in Him.
They will happen because He loves you, Lucy.
And we do, too <3
I'm admittedly baffled though. You go to school and you come home. There's nothing in between (other than riding the bus). And I'm here to welcome you in the afternoons, so I'm certain that's all. ...I mean, when could you possibly make any trouble? We're always encouraging you to invite friends over or to arrange a group to meet at the movies or the bowling alley, yet you always turn your nose up at these ideas insisting that you're fine at home doing nothing with us (even when it's obvious you're painfully bored and complaining of being so). ...I know the friends are real because I've seen all of the cute selfies you've taken together. They seem like awesome friends, too! And you often claim now that we're an awesome family...so why on God's green earth would you choose to suffer boredom before allowing us to be even slightly involved in that part of your life. ?!
Now, it's clear why.
You have spun a tangled web of stories that I'm sure you can't even keep up with. Stories that benefit only you, even if they cast an ugly light...or a completely false light on your honestly beautiful reality. You say you have a boyfriend, when you don't. That you're sleeping with him, when you're not. You brag about having things we don't actually own. You tell people we're going to amazing places we're not going to. You tell us that you needed over $100 of soccer-related gear to practice for soccer auditions, that you never went to (but you still made up quite the tale about how badly tryouts went, complete with funny things that happened to the other girls playing). It's a cray-cray compulsion!!
Our minds are always spinning wondering what we should do to affect a real change...how do we deal with this...are we wrong for being angry....is it humanly possible not to be angry at this?? Yesterday morning, God was again faithful to douse the flames of our frustration with this behavior through Psalm 5. He is not a God Who takes pleasure in wickedness, Lucy. Evil will never be His guest. We can't do anything but lay our needs at His feet every morning and wait. Although nothing that comes from your mouth right now seems to be truthful and destruction bubbles out of your heart...despite how incredibly flattering you've been to us on the surface...your own schemes will be your downfall, Sweet girl.
...If you don't stop....
John 5 refers to a man that had been sick for 38 years. 38 years (!!) of just lying under a porch near a pool (that brings healing), held back by excuses and blaming others for his persisting condition. It's no wonder Jesus asked the question, "Would you like to get well?" It seems the answer would be obvious for a man that was paralyzed for so long, but this man had seemingly grown content with being a victim. Jesus, in His great mercy, healed the undeserving man anyway...but how did the man repay him? By returning to his old bad habit of blaming others by implicating Jesus when the Pharisees were being ridiculous themselves!! ...Even after Jesus warned him saying, "You're well now. Stop sinning so something worse doesn't happen to you."
Like the paralyzed man, Lucy, you've been broken for many years...a victim of your unfortunate past. You've become accustomed to hiding behind the excuse of it all--your Mom and Dad and Grandma's death that left you orphaned--your foster parents who were awful to you and returned you--your brothers and sister because they moved on in life without you. You even believe your own contrived thoughts, however misled you might be, blaming your American host parents for not choosing you--Ilona for ruining your reputation--us for not making you feel like part of a family.... You're doing your best to act otherwise, but we see through it all. You have unquestionably faced more than you should have, Precious One. And of course you would be deeply hurt and affected by all of it! But, would you like to get well? Or are you content in your condition?? Because the truth is, that Jesus, in His great mercy towards you, already made you well when you chose Him, Daughter! God is no longer disgusted with you, as you have been made perfect and blameless in His sight <3 You are beautiful in ours, too. It's solely your decisions that continue on as if nothing has changed when everything has that's so hard for us to swallow.
Man. How God must feel watching all of us do the very same...<convicted>
Like Jesus exemplified, we will continue to do our best to warn you...to encourage you to turn back whenever we can...to pray that you'll jump into the "pool" instead of toeing the water...but the choice is still 100% yours. Will you continue to act as though you're still "paralyzed"? Or will you check your pride at the door, start taking responsibility for your actions, and truly surrender all to Him? There is no one that's going to answer for you before Him in the end but you, Lucy. In the meantime, Dad and I will take refuge in Jesus and go ahead of His answers with praise, as we pray for more of those moments when you triumph in Him.
They will happen because He loves you, Lucy.
And we do, too <3
