He Will Bring The Victory

Panic.  That's what I'm feeling right now, honestly.  We reached this mountaintop high when finding out that you were officially available, only to plummet immediately into a valley of doubt and anxiety.  Dad just got word that our next step is the international home study that's going to cost us a large sum of money that we just don't have :( And, of course, the fee comes at a time when so many other things are due...and after we've committed to living within our means and avoiding debt.  Not to mention, I stink the biggest stink that ever stunk at organizing anything...so fundraising?!  It's been so overwhelming just scanning through all of the options and thinking about them!!!  Every single one of them sounds great in theory, until they require me asking people for money....  I'm completely ill-equipped. What is God thinking???

It's all certainly enough to get a family distracted.  I just love how the Holy Spirit continues to intervene, however, keeping our minds set on things above and not on the pressures and limitations of this world!! Check out this devotional He put in front of me today in response to these groans of my spirit--it was too cool:

"Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." -1 Co. 15:57

"O My child, have I ever failed you?  Have I ever turned My back on you or forsaken you?  Have I not been your refuge and your strong defense?  I have protected you and kept you in sickness and in health.  Yes, I am with you to help you now.  Fear not.  My purposes will be fulfilled in spite of your weaknesses, if in your need you rely on My strength.  My will shall be done regardless of the flaws in your life, if you count on the power of My righteousness.  I do not work only in cases where there are no obstacles; but I glory in overruling the prevailing circumstances, and I take pleasure in bringing victories to those places where no victory is anywhere in sight.  

Count on My coming.  Know that whenever faith brings Me on the scene, everything is changed.  Darkness is turned to light.  Grief is turned to joy.  Sickness to health.  Poverty to My sufficient supply.  Doubt to faith.  Anxiety to trust.

No negative force can occupy the same place as My Spirit.  When My Spirit comes in, all these things must go.  Yes, they shall go!

Ask for victory.  I will come and bring it.  Don't look for the victory--look for Me, and you will see the victory that I will bring with Me.  After I have come, you shall behold the miracles I will do." -Frances J. Roberts, Come Away My Beloved, p.56-57.

Bring us victory, Jesus!!!  I surrender my weaknesses to You and plead for Your strength.  We count on Your coming to rescue this sweet girl that longs for a home as much as our home longs for her. Sufficiently supply for our needs, that we might be used to turn some of her grief into joy.  Take my doubting and anxious thoughts captive and transform them into an unshakeable faith and trust in You.  I can't wait to behold the miracles You will do!!!!

His Hands

I thought I had experienced hopelessness…until I experienced hopelessness.  Months have gone by and we have gotten no further in the process of bringing you home.  Admittedly, up until last week I had been trying to consume myself with the here and now, too proud and too fearful to bring the reality of the situation before more of our church family :(  What if we'd been wrong in discerning God's will? What if this whole thing fell through?  Like the emotions that come with losing a pregnancy, we would be crushed trying to accept that we had lost you…that we had confused our heart's desire with His leading...much less having to face the disappointment on everyone else's faces when they asked about you.

Thankfully, an amazing friend pointed out that my actions were actually failing to believe in and trust God, and ultimately failing you.  I had been so wrong to keep the details close!  We finally poured our hearts out on a prayer card last Sunday, expressing honestly (and with more detail) our frustration with the system that seems almost to exploit your situation with greedy intent.  We asked our friends to pray alongside us, that the Lord trample the obstacles before us so we can finally bring you home.  A few days later, we sent off the new set of paperwork...once again requesting your availability and stating our intentions to adopt you.  My reservations revealed my lingering unbelief despite the Sunday attempt to act otherwise, but I have to mention that your dad's faith has been so surprisingly unwavering through all of this--he has refused to admit any defeat.  It's incredible.  His tenacity alone should have been a reminder to me that Jesus is pursuing you even more fiercely.  I've been so blind.  

Thursday we received another message from Kim.  A sweet family that's currently in the Ukraine, picking up the son they have adopted, met and fell in love with you and sought to adopt you as well!!  You are so loved, Luda! I can't wait to experience this commanding presence of yours in person!!  Unfortunately, they were unable to take you home as they had wished, but had discovered that you are now, in fact, available for adoption!!!  Finally!!  God truly trampled this obstacle, and He blessed us with, yet again, making it known at the perfect time.  Not only to renew my hope when I was just about out, but to bring hope to all of those who are praying with us.  He has shown me that no matter the state of our hands (tied or loosed), only His Hands matter…and you're in His <3  

He's taking care of you, precious daughter, even while and even if we can't.  It's bittersweet for me, that this family couldn't have rescued you…as I'd find comfort just knowing that you were happy and safe…. But I can't help but keep believing that God had to allow that opportunity to pass because you really do belong with us <3

The sweet family who swooped in and saved the day