Dry Bones

I can admit that I no longer trust you.  I struggle moment-by-moment with believing that any of your "good" behaviors and choices are genuinely good at all.  I also recognize that it's not you I have to trust really, but God.  This is His Plan, and He is faithful to bring it to perfect completion (Phil. 1:6). Shamefully, I am completely aware that in my unforgiveness, I'm leaving myself wide open to the enemy and more of his wiles. Yes, I know that God is with me. I know that by His Power and His Strength, I can overcome the hurt that's taken root.  And I know that until I do, I'm single-handedly hindering reconcilation.

I've just got nothing left.

I have truly come to the end of myself.

This is where I would encourage others that our end is God's beginning--a truth I am barely hanging onto by my fingertips.  I am tired, Lucy.  I can see your desire for a mother's love, and I wanted nothing more than to be God's Instrument to deliver just that to you.  I gave.  And you continue to take advantage of every part of my heart.  I know what Jesus would do...what He does do...yet I've never felt less like Him than I do right now.  :(

A Valley of Dry Bones

37 The Lord took hold of me, and I was carried away by the Spirit of the Lord to a valley filled with bones. ² He led me all around among the bones that covered the valley floor. They were scattered everywhere across the ground and were completely dried out. ³ Then he asked me, “Son of man, can these bones become living people again?”

“O Sovereign Lord,” I replied, “you alone know the answer to that.”
⁴ Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to these bones and say, ‘Dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord! ⁵ This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again! ⁶ I will put flesh and muscles on you and cover you with skin. I will put breath into you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”
⁷ So I spoke this message, just as he told me. Suddenly as I spoke, there was a rattling noise all across the valley. The bones of each body came together and attached themselves as complete skeletons. ⁸ Then as I watched, muscles and flesh formed over the bones. Then skin formed to cover their bodies, but they still had no breath in them.
⁹ Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to the winds, son of man. Speak a prophetic message and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, O breath, from the four winds! Breathe into these dead bodies so they may live again.’”
¹⁰ So I spoke the message as he commanded me, and breath came into their bodies. They all came to life and stood up on their feet—a great army.
¹¹ Then he said to me, “Son of man, these bones represent the people of Israel. They are saying, ‘We have become old, dry bones—all hope is gone. Our nation is finished.’ ¹² Therefore, prophesy to them and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: O my people, I will open your graves of exile and cause you to rise again. Then I will bring you back to the land of Israel. ¹³ When this happens, O my people, you will know that I am the Lord. ¹⁴ I will put my Spirit in you, and you will live again and return home to your own land. Then you will know that I, the Lord, have spoken, and I have done what I said. Yes, the Lord has spoken!’” (Ezekiel 37:1-14)


Sovereign Lord, I have become old, dry bones.  My head knows better, but my broken heart feels like all hope is gone.  Put breath into me and bring me back to life so I, and Lucy, will know that You are the LORD.  Cause me to rise again so I can stand above my emotions and against the enemy.  Please, in Your Name, grant me the strength to trust You and Your Plan and to turn the other cheek so I can be used to reveal Your divine mercy and unfailing love.