"You will be crossing the Jordan River and entering Canaan. As you advance, force out all the people who live there. Get rid of all their stone and metal idols, and destroy all their places of worship. Take possession of the land and live there, because I will give it to you for your own."
-Num. 33:51-53 GWT
We finally made it home!!! Hiccup after hiccup threatened to keep us from ever arriving, but God barreled through every obstacle and delivered us safely to the warmest welcome our family has EVER received. The love that was showered upon you and us was just the salve our hearts needed. It was a beautiful moment. I didn't want it to end!!
Coming home, however, isn't the end of our story; that moment, although incredible in itself, isn't the "Promised Land" the Lord has planned for our family. We've only arrived at the banks of our Jordan. I confess that I've never felt more close to the hearts of the tribes Reuben and Gad than I have this week. I find myself pleading with the Holy Spirit as they plead with Moses, "Don't make us cross the Jordan River!" And through Moses' reply He answered me, "Are you going to stay here while the rest of the Israelites [your family/community] go to war? That might discourage them [Lucy] from entering the land the LORD has given them [her]. ...If you turn away from [Me], [I] will abandon all these people in the desert. You would be responsible for their destruction" (Num. 32:5, 15).
The reality is the same for me as it was for these men: there is going to be a battle and I will be fighting in it, whether I choose to settle on this side of the Jordan or the other when all is said and done. Of course I read this and thought, what idiots would choose the semi-amazing land when they could have the most amazing land...the land they were handed to by God Himself!!?!
Apparently, I was being that idiot.
I'm scared, Lucy. I imagine you are as well. This is completely new territory we're both navigating and it's terrifying! You can throw the nastiest eye-roll at our simplest requests and hastily shut us down when we're at our most vulnerable, trying to reach you on a deeper level...who knew teenagers were so intimidating?! Yet, God is making it very clear that we are to advance regardless of how much "taller and stronger" our adversary looks. From a place of love, we are going to have to make decisions that you hate. We are going to have to cast down all of these idols you've set up for yourself and worshipped to fill the large chasm in your broken heart. If we don't, "they will be like splinters in [our] eyes and thorns in [our] sides." We will constantly be competing with them (Num. 33:55-56).
God help us.
I can't get over how faithful He's been to answer every insecurity we have: "Never be afraid of anyone since your decisions come from God" (Deut. 1:17). "Don't tremble. Don't be afraid.... The LORD Your God, who is going ahead of you, will fight for you as you saw Him fight for you in Egypt and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD Your God carried you, as parents carry their children. He carried you wherever you went until you came to this place" (Deut. 1:29-31).
We need not be afraid of you, nor you of the decisions ahead. God is giving us our Promised Land--we just have to obey, cross the Jordan, and trust the victory He's guaranteed us over the battles ahead.
<3
